This is one of those silly Country songs a la Confederate Railroad. Just having some fun.
Singer/Songwriter in the tradition of classic country artists. A little humor and a whole lot of heart.
I've been writing songs since 1974. Over the past few years, I've participated in open mic's whenever possible and have become active in the Nashville Songwriters Association International ("NSAI").
Story behind the song
Years ago, I worked for a very intelligent business man who owned several companies. Due to a conflict of interest, his company that I worked for was technically "owned" by his brother. When the sale of the company was announced to a group of us, one of the managers asked this business man if the sale meant that we "wouldn't see him around here anymore" and without missing a beat, this 70-something businessman replied, "I've never been here and I"m looking forward to never coming back!"
I always remembered that and thought it was a great line. Being a songwriter, I was compelled to steal the line and weave it into a song.
Lyrics
My woman come home from her bunco game late one night
I could see she had that 'Mister, you're in for it' look in her eye
'I have a hard time believing what I heard this evening 'bout that honky tonk hangout you like’
That's when I knew I was in for a helluva fight
She said, 'I seem to recall there's throwing darts and shooting pool
But then after all, wasn't my momma raised her a fool
Skoal packing dippers watching pole dancing strippers, if that's what you want, well, that's cool
I guess you know where to go and just what you can do with that stool’
(I said) I ain't never been there but I heard it's a hoot
Darlin' I ain't lyin' I swear it's the truth
I only know about it from hanging out with my friends
You know I adore you don't put nothing before you
Tell me how can I make amends
I ain't never been there and I'm never going back again
Boss man pulled me off of the factory line
Held in his hand that job application of mine
Said 'I sure like you son, but your work here is done let me tell you just before you resign
Seems you forgot to mention, kid, you did yourself a brief bit of time’
(I said) I ain't never been there and I swear it's the truth
Ain't been stopped by a cop not since I was a youth
My record I guess it's a mess and just full of loose ends
You know I won't fail you and when it comes to jail
Who's to tell me how I spend my weekends
No, I ain't never been there and I'm never going back again
Like I’ve said all along I can tell right from wrong
Hell, I sure know that lying’s a sin
No, I ain’t never been there and I’m never going back again
© John Tolley All Rights Reserved
