I met her on the highway in September
I can still recall that creepy smile she wore
She was breakin’ out with acne when she shot me
I knew it was a rave, and nothing more…
I shrieked in pain, I’d salivate forever
She said to me she liked spy vs. spy
But who’d have thought she’d boogie at her health club
Well that’s they way that pygmies say goodbye
She was weighted down with Twinkies on her elbows,
And I knew she’d bought her dentures in a store
I met her incognito stoned on oatmeal
I can still recall the stolen goods she wore
She was talkin’ in Swahili near Poughkeepsie
And I knew right then no guy would ever love her more
I knew deep down I’d stay with her forever
She said to me she’d have a swiss on rye
But who’d have thought she’d skydive in my Edsel
I watched it melt away and sobbed goodbye
A klingon said I’d live off her forever
She said to me that Nixon didn’t lie…
I met her on the highway dead all over
I can still recall those trainin’ pants she wore
She was drownin’ in the quicksand in her muumuu
And I knew I’d have to scrape her off that floor
The painters knew I’d swear off booze forever
She said to me there was no other guy
But who’d have thought she’d freak out with a robot
Well that’s the way that pygmies say goodbye…
She was chewin’ on a hangnail with Led Zeppelin
And I knew they’d hate her guts in Baltimore
Out…
