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Robots are Unreasonable
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Taken from a survival guide from the future, this details how best to deal with the robot menace.
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If King Missile and Portishead had a baby at a Cure concert - that's us.
Mayhem Lettuce has been crafting sad, strange, sometimes silly, spoken-word songs from rural Illinois since 1993. We're two beardy dudes raised on King Missile with delusions of Portishead.
Song Info
Genre
Alternative • Other Alternative
Charts
Peak #658
Peak in subgenre #90
Author
Mayhem Lettuce
Rights
2005
Uploaded
January 29, 2005
Track Files
MP3
MP3 4.5 MB • 128 kbps • 0:00
Story behind the song
You can't explain things to a robot.
Lyrics
Robots are unreasonable. You can't explain things to a robot. It'll just obey its programming, which, more likely than not, is about murdering you. So, if there's a robot, and he's all like "HALT, HUMAN!", the way I see it, you got two options, Jack: You can halt and hope he doesn't eviscerate you with a buzzsaw or slice you up with a laser beam or tear you in half with its huge king fu grip hands or melt your brain with a sonic disruptor or riddle your fragile body with bullets or incinerate you with a rocket or vaporize you with a space beam of some sort or put you to work in the slave pits of Cybertron or beat you at chess or cheat at video games or fail to use contractions or rip your heart out of your chest and show it to you before you die or tear your head off and show your crumpled, decapitated body to it before... uh... it dies or make really boring and repetitive techno music with lots of boops and laser beams in it or be made of liquid steel or replace all the workers in the factory or learn to be something more than a machine or take an oil bath or be more than meets the eye or rip one of your arms off and beat you to death with it or capture you and take you before its cruel master, the MCP, who will make ludicrous, ridiculous and unreasonable demands of you or shock you with a cattle prod thingie or shoot you into space or tap into the United States Military Computers and launch a full-scale global thermonuclear war Or, you can fun. Because robots aren't usually very fast and you'll probably get away. Probably.
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