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Story behind the song
Solo track
Lyrics
Chorus 1:
I can end it now/
Life is just to hard/
I just can’t stand/
Livin in the dark//
Time to let it go/
Focus on the job/
Heaven here I come.../
I ain’t see’n God//
1st Verse:
I wasn’t born into a family...just surroundings that damaged me/
Couldn’t even stand the heat...my life is full of vanity//
Now I know insanity is right around the corner/
A foreigner to this life of drugs-n-lifeless thugs-n-coroners/
Still disordered...distorted and maimed/
The horror that came when heroin was pouring from veins//
No more core of my brain...thoughts are drifting away/
I’m sick-n-dismay fucking the bitch with the syphilis-spray//
My dick is in flames...and my stomach is tied in knots/
And I keep hearing on rap albums of people who die from shots//
Inside my thoughts...I see pain consuming my life/
Only way I’ll get out of it’s going through with suicide//
I never thought I’d use a knife...cutting my arm/
Then started slicing horizontally but something was wrong//
Wanted no harm...I fucked up...but now I’m bleeding odd/
I feel hot...I SEE THE LIGHT!....but...I ain’t seeing God//
Chorus 2:
Where is heaven now!?/
Angels in the sky!?/
All I see is pain.../
Tangled in our lives//
Sins are comin back/
Nestled in disguise/
Shut my lids and see/
The Devil in the eyes//
Verse 2:
Oh my God I’m in HELL!!!/
I don’t know...which way to go...I’m inside a cell//
I see demons and heat is released even/
Chief of police weeping because he and his neice (were) creeping//
Why am I here?!...what have I done to deserve this?!/
You’re here because you didn’t give into love and it’s curses//
Come to the surface...see my eyes at my level/
It’s Satan, Lucifer, Abbadon...I am the Devil//
Oh my God I swear I’ve seen you before/
SAY HIS NAME AND I’LL LEAVE YOU FUCKING WEAK AND DEFORMED!!!//
But see I was born...alive and emerged/
AND YOUR THE FUCKING REASON MY MOM DIED AT MY BIRTH!//
AND YOUR THE FUCKING REASON I TOOK MY LIFE FROM THE EARTH!!/
AND YOUR THE FUCKING REASON WHEN I WAS SLICING IT HURT!!!//
HAHAHA...your life was worthless just begin to admit it/
Now here’s a fiery sword slash for every sin you’ve commited//
Chorus 3:
Hope does not exist/
Evil’s turnin out/
Not allowed to pray/
My soul’s burnin now//
Here I go again/
To the depths of hell/
Soul’s engulfed in sin/
I know God will prevail//
Verse 3:
Now it’s over I stop...I can’t take it I’m hot/
I feel pain and I cringe...I shake and I drop//
I pray to the heavens...Lord forgive me I’m weak/
Give me a brief slip of relief hear me I speak//
I lived in the slums and when I heard Christian I’d run/
Lord just give me a sign!...I’m with you my son//
Lord it’s you!...I feel no pain...I’m bleeding within/
Satan took me under and started to feed on my sin//
I know you thought I was some kind of myth/
Hell is what I begun to see fit to punish you with//
Lord I know...but why Hell?!...I was very afraid/
Just know...the Lord works in mysterious ways//
But frequently I prayed on what I thought was your frequency/
I thought you hated me...I love everyone equally//
What now?!...back to hell with my flesh-n-transcripts!?/
No...I forgive you and I do give 2nd chances//
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