This is for you if you've ever considered becoming a veg head or, especially, if you haven't. Also for the boob who says "I'm a vegetarian but I eat chicken". Like a chicken is a vegetable?
C.O.W. (Creative Older Woman) takes up slammin' with dark humor and biting sarcasm. Not your momma's poetry.
What I do is slam and stand-up. To hear me, click on the music link.
Story behind the song
I don't like hypocrites. We all are, at times, including me, but it's still annoying. In case you haven't guessed, this slam is not trying to get you to be a vegetarian.
Lyrics
Slaminals
I DO totally agree that eating flesh is gross.
I mean what kind of person takes a bite outa the
bum of some poor little creature with big eyes and a fuzzy face?
It's like cannabalism, only worse, if you ask me.
That said-however-the problem is ...
That same piece of ass
Hung for a few days, suitably peeled
On the barbie with fried onions
is SO darned good
I've seen dedicated vegans
Faint, cry, drool ... It's really pathetic.
So, under the circumstances, the question we really must ask is
"To what extend has that lamb, that moo-cow, that little pink pig
brought it on themselves?
Innocent animals? I don't THINK so.
They've got feelings, brains, eyes to see,
Better than the rest of us, in some cases,
Nobody doubts that.
So, maybe
Like the homeless man huddled in his doorway,
wrapped in newspapers, drifted with snow ...
Maybe,
Like a beaten woman saying 'I'm sorry' to her abuser ...
MAYBE,
Like a child born into a nightmare who never seems to wake up ...
Just maybe,
Animals WANT to be eaten!
If not, wouldn't they DO something about it"
Are they too stupid, too lazy, to get a job,
A life, a decent set of clothes
Like the rest of us?
And, if they are too stupid - well,
It's a dog eat dog
I come first
Damn the cripples and children
NOT MY PROBLEM
kind of world.
Pass the dog.
