Toxic Hydro Cult is an American crossover thrash band from Los Angeles, CA
Toxic Hydro Cult is an American crossover thrash band from Los Angeles. The band mixes elements of hardcore punk and thrash metal, with lyrics that are often humorous and politically incorrect
Lyrics
[Intro]
So you're sailin' the Aegean, lookin' for a good time, huh?
Heard a rumor 'bout a girl on Lesbos.
Says she'll make you rock hard.
Oh, she will. She really motherfuckin' will.
GO!
[Verse 1]
Down on Gorgon Alley where the sailors get their kicks
There's a special kinda lady with a special kinda trick
She don't need no fishnets, no high-heeled shoe
Just a head of hissin' vipers and a gaze that runs you through!
Says her name is Medusa, she's the best lay on the isle
Guarantees a stony finish with a slithering, green smile
You hand over your drachmas, you're a hero, brave and bold
About to get the climax of a story to be told!
[Pre-Chorus]
You stumble in her doorway, reekin' of cheap wine
She says "Hey there, Heracles, you wanna see divine?"
Your toga's 'round your ankles, you're ready for the sin
She pulls back the curtain, and says "LET'S BEGIN!"
[Chorus]
ONE LOOK! THAT'S ALL IT TOOK!
YOU'RE HARD AS A FUCKIN' ROCK! (HEY!)
IT'S MEDUSA'S TRICK, YOU STUPID PRICK!
SHE'S PUNCHIN' OUT YOUR CLOCK!
NO HAPPY ENDING! JUST CEMENTING!
SHE TOOK YOUR GOLD AND FLED!
YOU'RE A GARDEN GNOME WITH A MARBLE BONE!
YOU'RE FUCKIN' PETRI-DEAD!
[Verse 2]
Her front yard's a museum of unsatisfied desire
Statues of dumb heroes who were burnin' with a fire
There's Perseus the Pervy with his hand still on his junk
And Odysseus the Dipshit, forever fuckin' drunk
They all paid for the service, they all wanted some head
Didn't know the serpent woman would turn 'em into lead!
Or granite, or whatever, I ain't a geologist, man!
It's the ultimate blue balls, the ultimate scam!
[Pre-Chorus]
You think you're gonna be the one, the one to pass the test
Gonna close your eyes and feel her... scales upon your chest?
But your curiosity is bigger than your brain
You take a little peek, and you feel a freezin' pain!
[Chorus]
ONE LOOK! THAT'S ALL IT TOOK!
YOU'RE HARD AS A FUCKIN' ROCK! (HEY!)
IT'S MEDUSA'S TRICK, YOU STUPID PRICK!
SHE'S PUNCHIN' OUT YOUR CLOCK!
NO HAPPY ENDING! JUST CEMENTING!
SHE TOOK YOUR GOLD AND FLED!
YOU'RE A GARDEN GNOME WITH A MARBLE BONE!
YOU'RE FUCKIN' PETRI-DEAD!
[Bridge]
Look... but don't look...
Pay... then pray...
You wanted to get stiff...
WISH GRANTED!
[Guitar]
[Chorus]
ONE LOOK! THAT'S ALL IT TOOK!
YOU'RE HARD AS A FUCKIN' ROCK! (HEY!)
IT'S MEDUSA'S TRICK, YOU STUPID PRICK!
SHE'S PUNCHIN' OUT YOUR CLOCK!
NO HAPPY ENDING! JUST CEMENTING!
SHE TOOK YOUR GOLD AND FLED!
YOU'RE A GARDEN GNOME WITH A MARBLE BONE!
YOU'RE FUCKIN' PETRI-DEAD!
[Outro]
MEDUSA'S TRICK!
STONE COLD!
STORY'S TOLD!
YOU GOT RIPPED OFF!
YOU'RE A STATUE, ASSHOLE!
A FUCKIN' STATUE!
