The month their mother went away
The scent of lavender and old books lingers as I watch them sleep, memorizing each breath. Sarah murmurs, James curls up unaware of my farewell. Robert stays awake, sensing the loss. At dawn, Ill be gone. No letters left, only memories.
Story behind the song
March. My last month with them.
The room smells of lavender and old books, when they arrived home from the hospital, the kind of perfume that lingers in spaces where love once held the walls together. Since the first hours passed, I stood at the door, watching the rise and fall of their breathing, the slow rhythm of dreams. Sarah murmurs something in her sleep, a half-formed word, swallowed by silence. James curls up, as if already feeling the absence that will come.
Tonight, the moon hangs like a silver pendant against the velvet sky, casting long shadows on our bedroom floor. How strange it is, I think, that such ordinary objects the lamp, her favorite book, the old rocking chair suddenly seem so precious, so impossibly significant in these final hours.
Robert remains awake, though his eyes are closed. I know him too well to believe otherwise. His fingers twitch on the sheet, searching for the warmth that, by morning, will have disappeared.
My darlings sleep in the room next door; their peaceful breaths are a symphony I've memorized over the years. Sarah, with her slight whistle when she dreams, and James, who still clutches that tattered blue blanket. I stand at their door, a silent guardian, drinking in their innocence one last time. How does one say goodbye to pieces of one's own heart?
Outside, the world is waiting. The wind carries whispers of the unknown, an invitation I have no choice but to accept. So, this is what it means to die? I step forward, pressing my palm against the cold glass of the window. The moon watches me with silent indifference, a silver witness to the moment I became a ghost.
Everything is unexpected, you see, leaving me no choice. Sad to leave now when everything was getting better. Pity I couldnt, didnt, cant write to them about my own ending. They will not find letters from me in the morning, one for each of them, words carefully chosen to bridge the abyss that has opened.
The clock strikes three; each toll is a reminder that time, like water, flows forever. I touch each precious face one last time, memorizing the texture of skin, the curve of cheeks, the warmth of life beneath my fingers incapable of absorbing heat. These memories, I will carry with me into the darkness.
The door closes behind me with a soft click, final like a period at the end of a sentence. The story of us of who we were together ends here. But their stories? Those is only just beginning.
And somewhere, somehow, I will be watching. Always.
Lyrics
As I hold you close tonight,
I feel the weight of my heart's plight.
Tomorrow brings a brand-new dawn,
But for now, I must be gone.
Goodbye, my darlings, hold me tight,
In your dreams, I'll shine so bright.
Though distance separates us now,
Know that I'll be with you somehow.
To my love, my rock, my light,
I'll carry your memory deep inside.
Our time together was a precious gift,
But now I must set sail adrift.
I stand with you in the echoes of laughter,
In the tears we've shed,
In the love we shared, though miles ahead.
I'll watch over you from afar,
My love for you, like a guiding star.
So farewell, my loves, until we meet again,
In the depths of my soul, you'll remain.
For now, I'll journey into the unknown,
But our bond will forever be shown.
Though distance may separate us now,
I'll always be with you, this I vow.
