All I Wanted Was to Dance With You
Wanted to dance with you just once, despite knowing it hurts. Longing surrounds me, while ice fills your eyes. You said people come and go, but I still wait, unsure if I should forget. One last dance to break my heart and let go.
Story behind the song
I watched him from the edge of the dance floor, my hands gripping my thighs deeply. He moved like he always had, like the music was something he carried in his bloodstream, something hed absorbed long before hed heard it. I, on the other hand, stood still. Id always stood still.
I wanted to dance with him. Just once. Just tonight. But some things never change.
He twirled in the dim glow of the lights, his coat catching the neon glow like a soft flame. He wasnt dancing alone. The woman with him was taller than me, confident. He led her effortlessly, like hed been made to do this all along. She smiled at him, the kind of smile you give when something feels right. I wondered if hed ever smiled at me like that. If he had, I hadnt noticed.
The music faded. He leaned in close, whispered something in the womans ear. She laughed. He laughed. I looked down at my feet.
I could have left then. It would have been easy. A quiet retreat, a cab ride home, a drink in the dark. But instead, I stayed. I stayed to watch something that wasnt mine, something Id never claimed but foolishly thought might wait for me. He turned, just for a second, and his eyes met mine. I thought I saw something therea flicker of recognition, of memory. But it was gone, replaced by the rhythm of the music, the pull of the woman beside him. I told myself I didnt need an answer. That I could let go, just like hed said. But even as I walked toward the door, as the cool air hit my skin, I realized I was still waiting. Waiting for something that would never come.
Lyrics
(I wanted to)
I wish I were with you tonight
In the middle of the dance floor.
But you don't need this anymore:
Dancing with someone who loves you.
I wish I were happy,
Just a little bit of happiness.
But I know that's not what you want to do,
And I know that's not what you imagine.
(All I wanted)
All I wanted was to know
How to dance and dance with you.
Just once tonight, because of this
Such a wrong reason to mistreat my eyes.
An empty longing that surrounds
My precision of tears,
And the desire to believe
That I don't see ice in your eyes.
(I'm not sure)
I'm not sure if I want to forget you.
But your words, questions, and answers
Hurt me more than
They do good.
All I wanted was to know
How to dance and dance with you.
Just once tonight, because of this
Wrong reason to mistreat
My heart, my eyes, my life.
(You told me)
One day you told me,
If I understood correctly,
People come to you, and if you like,
You let them go. I'm leaving.
But even saying goodbye,
I always end up waiting for an answer.
Although, knowing you well,
I don't believe it.
(Still, all I wanted)
All I wanted was to know
How to dance and dance with you.
Just once tonight, because of this
Wrong reason to mistreat myself.
