Tale of woe about meeting your childhood idol for real, but the whole thing just falls into an embarrassing hole.
Hi, I'm "One Wiener and Whine". But I don't actually drink wine.
Story behind the song
I was reading something about one of my favorite actors accidentally meeting a childhood idol, who happened to have the same first name, in a mostly-deserted bar. I have not been able to document that this is a totally true story since years have now passed and I can't find an account of the incident online. However, I do remember that it was awkward.
Lyrics
I was only a young actor.
I had only been in one film.
I was looking for a drink and the only other drinker
sitting in the bar-room was Sir John.
The great Sir John -- the reknowned Sir John!
He was famous when I was a kid.
He said, "Hi."
And my knees, they were knocking. It really was shocking
to be sitting next to Sir John.
He looked at me weird as he stroked his skinny beard.
I couldn't get my brain turned on.
He said, "Where have I seen you before?
I said, "I'm sure that I don't know."
He said, "We'll sink a little drink. I will think a deeper think.
It will come back before the evening show."
The great Sir John. The renowned Sir John
bought the round and he looked into my face.
He said, "Pat?" I said, "Not that."
He got no sharper. He tried "Harper".
Lost with "Maddy", "Shaun" and "Parker".
Didn't slay me none with "Jamie". The bartender arrived.
"Lindsay? Hayden? Finley?"
Not a one of them did win me.
"Robin? Arden? Peyton? Kelsey? No, I got it! You are Clive!"
I shook my head. He said, "You're Merv!"
This whole thing struck an awful nerve.
As his brain danced in circles, we were served.
He shouted "Brandy! Bourbon! Whiskey! Or maybe it is Bailey?"
I said, "Bailey's what I'm drinking, sir." "Well, then it must be Hailey.
I swear to God I know you! I know you from somewhere...
I know your face, I know your voice, I know just how you comb your hair..."
And he slipped right down upon the floor right off the wooden bar-room chair.
The great Sir John...the reknowned Sir John.
He was famous when I was a kid.
So much for John. That's all for John.
My name is John.
