Back off Bitch, I'm Married!
The story of a guy who comes home to his wife after overdoing it at his best friend's stag. It is an extremely entertaining recounting of how sometimes everything just somehow turns out alright.
Country music about love, marriage, fidelity and traditional family values.
Story behind the song
The story of a guy who comes home to his wife after overdoing it at his best friend's stag. It is an extremely entertaining recounting of how sometimes everything just somehow turns out alright. Hope you enjoy listening to it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
The lyrics for BOBIM were written well over a decade ago. I was told a joke that then drilled its way into my brain and wouldnt give me a moments rest until I turned it into a Country song. It took me ten years to find someone (Toby Wilson) willing to compose the score. I couldnt be more proud of the outcome. I consider BOBIM a tribute to marriage and fidelity. I hope you enjoy listening to it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Lyrics
The parking lot was crowded and the music loud and raunchy
Got wilder by the minute, hell bent on fun and play
Suspect I over did it; of that Im almost certain
Now honey dont go crazy I could almost hear her say
My plan for home was simple; just get the front door open
Slip in without a sound and give the switch a pass
The couch, I tumbled over; the light stand I knocked over
Onto our coffee table and smashed all the glass
My memory is hazy of events of that evening
My best friends stag was something, of that I do recall
Strippers were swinging and liquor ever flowing
And my loves words of warning I recall most of all
While on the floor I lay morning came a leaping
The room spins; my head pounds; my ribs throb a fright
And as my eyes did focus the new day came a rushing
Oh Sweet Lord please strike me now! I wish Id died last night.
VERSE # 3After a moment I noticed a glass of water
A bottle of aspirin and a note addressed to me
It said: I went to the store to re-place all the stuff youve broken.
Hope youre feeling better soon. Love and kisses, honey bee!
My memory is hazy of events of that evening
My best friends stag was something, of that I do recall
Strippers were swinging and liquor overflowing
And my loves words of warning I recall most of all
The Ford pulled in; the truck door slammed; in the house she came
I stammered Im so sorry thinking I was dead
I forgave you last night she smiled then led me to our bedroom
Peeled off my trousers and proved that were still wed
My memory is hazy of events of that evening
My best friends stag was something, of that I do recall
Strippers were swinging and liquor overflowing
And my loves words of warning I recall most of all
My head but it did pound but what a small price to pay
For the kind of forgiveness I earned that day
With love in my arms I dared to ask her
What did I do or say that could make this all okay?
Then she said, When you came home last night; a weapon of mass destruction
My big beautiful husband, passed out on the ground
Too heavy to move, I didnt know what to do
I kicked you in the ribs; you didnt make a sound
So as you lay there sleeping, I decided to undress you
Stripped off your shirt; took off your shoes, but the second I touched your belt
Your eyes flew wide open and you grabbed my hands and hollered
Back Off Bitch, Im Married! And you passed right out again.
My memory is hazy of events of that evening
My best friends stag was something, of that I do recall
Strippers were swinging and liquor ever flowing
And my loves words of warning I recall most of all
Strippers were swinging and liquor overflowing
And my loves words of warning I recall most of all
