Free download
Genre fluid songwriter but generally in the Americana /country/rock/ blues /folk arena.
Song Info
Genre
Charts
Peak #85
Peak in subgenre #22
Author
David Damroze
Rights
2010 David Damroze
Uploaded
December 16, 2016
Track Files
MP3
MP3 4.5 MB • 160 kbps • 3:58
Story behind the song
While working in security at the Seattle Art Museum a few years back I was having a conversation with Nick, who was entering police academy, about some of the types of folks who worked in that job such as aspiring artists, retirees, people laid off from better jobs etc.
Thinking of the kind of people that let a little authority go to their head I said something about ' cop wannabees'. Assuming I was referring to him ( I wasn't), Nick responded , somewhat heatedly, that that was better than being ' middle aged and overweight in a go nowhere job". I had just turned fifty.
Now, being the sort that's always on the lookout for a good song hook, I didn't get mad but rather recognized that I had the beginnings of a song here.
On the surface this lyric could be interpreted as being aimed at specific individuals. Although it could refer tangentially to them, it's more about those insecurities many of us share such as fears of going crazy, not being able to provide for ourselves in old age, sitting around getting fat at a desk job while at the same time being attached to the paycheck etc.
I posted the lyrics in the locker room at work thinking that some of my coworkers could relate to the feelings expressed therein. Some liked it. Most were indifferent. One or two laughed.
However, a few days later, I got a call to come to the supervisors office where I was informed that my ' poem or whatever it was' was taken down and I was ordered not to repost it. I guess she thought verse 3 was about her.
So much for freedom of expression at a major municipal art museum.
Lyrics
I'm Fifty and Fat and I work in a Security Job
No Bennies, Low Wages I feel like such a Slob.
When the Economy Bounces Back
I'll get my finances back on track
I'm Fifty and Fat and I work in a Security Job.
I'm Forty-Six and I work as a Security Guard.
I've got Scrap Metal Sculptures all over my Mothers Yard.
Someday as an Artist I'll be Famous
Most Likely that will be Posthumous
I'm Forty-Six and I work as a Security Guard.
I'm Thirty-Nine and I Supervise Security Guards
I Sit at my Desk my Ass is Turning to Lard
I Monitor the Monitors Hour by Hour
Basking in my Enormous Power
I'm Thirty-Nine and I Supervise Security Guards
I'm Twenty-Six I work in Security
I have a Tenuous Grip on Reality
Some Day when I've Totally Lost my Mind
I'll Be on the Corner with a Cardboard Sign
I'm Twenty-Six and I work in Security.
I'm Nineteen Like my Security job is Cool.
Like it Fits my Schedule like when I'm Going to Like School
Like When I get my like Masters degree
Like in Like Etruscan Pottery
Like then I'll be like Quitting my Security Job.
I'm Sixty-Five and I work as a Rent-a-Cop
My Retirement plan turned out to be a Total Flop
My 401ks gone down the tubes
I Guess this is what I'll Have to do
I'm Sixty-Five and I work as a Rent-a-Cop
Repeat Verse 1
