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I Am the Very Model of a Modern Fundamentalist
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Kentuckys own Kim Davis didnt want to marry gays Gilbert & Sullivan and James Trumm have given us a lickety-quick commentary.
folk political satire
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Songs to afflict those who make everyone else uncomfortable.
Dave Lippman travels the world taking the air out of the windbags of the week, de-distorting history, and rewriting the classics with parody and thrust. He also presents the world's only known singing CEO, the Bard of the Bankers, Wild Bill Bailout, who employs anti-folk songs and interventionary anthems to explain (and enforce) that the business of America is none of your business, that those too big to fail are also too big for jail, and that the jobless and foreclosed must bail out their own boats.
Song Info
Charts
Peak #459
Peak in subgenre #118
Author
James Trumm
Uploaded
March 02, 2016
Track Files
MP3
MP3 2.8 MB 160 kbps 2:24
Lyrics
I am the very model of a modern fundamentalist I’m not merely judgmental, I’m the absolute judgmentalest! I always follow scripture and I act on God’s authority But marital longevity was never my priority I married first one husband, then two others, then another one Because I think one man is pretty much like any other one. I’ve never been too troubled by the dubious legalities Of sex outside of marriage or of other trivialities But when it comes to icky stuff like homosexuality I’m always very strident with my Puritan morality. In short in matters biblical and spiritual and Calvinist, I am the very model of a modern fundamentalist! In questions of behavior I fall back on my Old Testament (Though saying no to shrimp is way too much of an impediment). I pick and choose the verses that support my little weltanschauung And pledge never to change my mind from now til götterdämmerung I’ll ride this hobby horse until I’m richer than a sybarite, There’ll always be good money in denouncing godless sodomites. I’ll put my name as author on some books that I can barely read And get a show on cable to inform the world what God decreed My husbands all agree that I know more about what marriage is Than five Supreme Court justices whose law my faith disparages. In short in matters biblical and spiritual and Calvinist, I am the very model of a modern fundamentalist! In fact, when I see what is meant by constitutionality When I can do my job with requisite impartiality, When I can join in marriage two young men who might be thespians, Or issue nuptial licenses to enterprising lesbians When I can see that love is love no matter what the sexes are And understand that gays are just like me and my three exes are, In short, when I have finally got a dose of moral clarity I’ll find out what is meant by the idea of Christian charity Til then I’ll flout the law and draw my wages from the county tax Which is what God would do if only He was up on all the facts Til then in matters biblical and spiritual and Calvinist I am the very model of a modern fundamentalist!
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