Song picture
03. And As Soon As I Ejaculated I Knew That I Had
Comment Share
Free download
And As Soon As I Ejaculated I Knew That I Had Made A Mistake
hip hop rap metalcore horrorcore dubstep
OH, HELLO. After writing songs since he was 5 years old and performing in bands since he was 9, Jared Woods (hatched and grown in Cape Town, South Africa), realised what was wrong. It was the simple essence of bands themselves: a collaborative collection of ideas which ultimately resulted in compromised visions and a cock-measuring competition of egos. It was with this epiphany that the protagonist figured out a new route to fully express his musical passion. Going solo. It was genius, as this approach ensured that the band would never have any reason to break-up, and that he and himself would hardly ever argue about direction. It’s the whole “if you want something done right...” cliche, all over again. So after lengthy conversations in his mind on the cold cobbled streets outside London pubs (where Jared had since relocated to chase the dream), Coming Down Happy was born. But despite the fact that the seed was planted as early as 2008, it took over 4 years for our hero to stop picking his nose and smelling his own farts, eventually finding the strength needed to grant this project its final lift-off, in 2012. The reasons for this delay were many, and not exclusively a result of laziness. No, instead this hindrance was owed above all else, to the approach in which Jared had chosen to release said songs, by creating something much more elaborate than your average musical project. Inspired by a recent lengthy heartbreak he had endured in 2009, the center of Coming Down Happy told the fictional tale of one rockstar named LegoTrip, who meets an evil girl that curses him with her poisonous vagina, causing him to fall deeply and irrationally in love with her. This story was not only communicated via the means of lyrics, but also with the aid of a comicesque-musical, each song supported by hundreds of cartoon images, carefully stitched together in video format, introducing a surreal world of characters and events. The whole concept was to be composed, sung, rapped, screamed, mixed, drawn, video-edited, and web-designed/developed by Jared Woods alone, and all of it available to the masses for free (with a planned comic book in the works, too). The project was so intricate, in fact, that the boy had convinced himself that when the original 4 part EP was released, he would surely be propelled into superstardom. No such luck, as almost the opposite took place. Due to the careless practice of mentioning real people and situations by name, blurring the line between reality and fiction, the outlet encouraged a vicious backlash to ensue, resulting in hate mail from anonymous listeners as well as his own parents, and even some seriously violent threats to his well-being. But this didn’t bother Jared as much as the lack of fame did, and he fell into a deep depression for months following. However, time has been good to the healing process, and the show must go on. And even in those dark days, Jared never once turned his back on the music, always letting the ideas stew, calculating his next move. A couple of even less successful singles later, and he was ready to continue the story he had started, following the turmoil of LegoTrip once again, observing the fight against misery in The Black EP sequel. This 4-track offering will be released song-by-song sporadically over 2013, in hopes that our cartoon friend may find some peace, and that Jared may find some fame. But regardless of outcomes, one thing's for certain: this abrasive, sample-heavy, multi-media, genre-crossing musical approach (standing currently as a hybrid of hip-hop flows, metal screams, horrorcore contexts, dark electropop ideals, scat scoobi-doo-bahs, dubstep drops, trip-hop sleeps, house-music satires, post-punk deliveries, raggamuffin irieness, and drum 'n' bass breaks - to name a few) featuring perverted adults themes (subjects including genitalia, mensturation, ejaculation, devirginizing, Satanism, blasphemy, suicide, abortions and murder) which are unnecessarily offensive without losing a sense of humour and cartoon cheerfulness... will always be completely unsignable, unmarketable or indescribable. But, hey, at least it will give you something to do with your afternoon.
Song Info
Charts
Peak #657
Peak in subgenre #63
Author
Jared Woods
Uploaded
September 30, 2013
Track Files
MP3
MP3 3.1 MB 128 kbps 3:26
Story behind the song
This song was by far the hardest to write out of the first installment, you have no idea. I rebuilt it so many times and all too often found myself ruining it, with at least 4 different versions existing. But eventually I settled on this one, and even though I will never claim it to be my best, I do find myself craving it much more than any of the other tracks. Possibly because lyrically, it has got to be one of the most intense things I have ever done. My original aim was just to get a Timbaland style production sound, and even if I failed at it, that was my main original inspiration. The bassline itself reminds me of Air’s Sexy Boy, which was totally unintentional and far from it, but I did not try to avoid it. Some of the percussion was based on some Janelle Monae song I can’t really remember, and (much like the entire album) I think the influence of Eminem’s Marshall Mathers LP shines strongest on this track. Oh, and finally I put the Dubstep drop in there just as a laugh at my friends, this was not based on KoRn! I actually mixed metal and Dubstep long before they ever did! As for the video, it’s probably the roughest. Some of those drawings are so sh** I can only assume I was drunk when I did them, and the lyrics are so quick that it is difficult to keep up with them. Sorry about that, but f*** you is what I really mean.
Lyrics
VERSE 1 She's so f*** ing pretty Takes her hours to get ready It’s so unnecessary But it makes her feel happy When my friends can't end their sentences In her defense, it's funny No expense, no need for money But she got me She walks real slow Heads follow where she goes She makes her own clothes She giggles with her nose She knows about bling bling loves shiny things Wouldn't give me a word If she hadn't heard me sing But she had Well isn’t this nice My prize in the eyes of all the other guys And I go to the pub And I get into a fight Every time I think about The word the monster said But how could he speak Of someone so unique Somewhat skew teeth And the cutest little feet bleeergghhh but it ain’t no thang PRE-CHORUS She wouldn't give me a word if she hadn't heard me sing No, she wouldn't give me a word if she hadn't heard me sing CHORUS But As Soon As I Ejac Ulated I knew That I Had made a mistake And I pulled out VERSE 2 First verse she was a virgin I’m perversion personified Our period synchronised And I told a bunch of lies And mutual masturbated 'Til it was overrated Then we hate it, couldn’t take it Broke her But her vagina was kinda Like a piranha nirvana Like Madonna had conned her She was touched for the very first time Then there was that smell She had cast a spell From her ass and I fell in luurve So f*** you THE GIRL You can go to hell With that fat f*** ASSHOLE as well Your hymen is mine I’m rhymin in time to tell on your crimes While I sell a million copies but for neow... My eyes had changed Fast heart-shaped pains Like a grain of cocaine My fame was strained by this dame Which has a nice ring, sure PRE-CHORUS but it wouldn’t mean a thing If she...uhhhh.. if she hadn't heard me sing CHORUS But as soon as I ejaculated I knew that I had Made a mistake and I passed out BRIDGE Such a perfect way to ruin an evening... there was something... there was... VERSE 3 Something evil Crawling up my leg Into my pee-hole Nesting eggs into my head Confess, I was a mess Was useless, was obsessed Pussy juices had infested All the brains I had left Especially when she dressed When I saw her breasts Stressed when we kissed I tasted breathe, I’d insist On licking her clit So fast it would fall to bits Split her pussy lips Like a bag of crisps, f*** er Stick fists inside the b*** Scratched out my stitches My dick would itch Spit for lubrication Smelt like fish Used up my 3 wishes And I’d do it again I’d even break up the band And they wouldn’t understand that It’s just me over-flowing And she wouldn't give me a word If she hadn't heard me sing PRE-CHORUS No she...uhhhh... if she hadn't heard me sing No she...uhhhh.. if she hadn't heard me sing But she...uhhhh... if she hadn't heard me sing No, she wouldn't give me a word If she hadn't heard me sing CHORUS But As Soon As I Ejac Ulated I knew That I had made a mistake and I pulled out BRIDGE 2 And it’s not her fault It’s kind of my fault Cos my friends did warn me And it’s not her fault entirely It’s a little bit of my fault Because my did friends warned me I guess I was a bit too horny I should take it with a pinch of salt And I assure you, I am completely over her But I’ve been planning this for way too long to go back on it and all seriousness she f*** ing deserves it, you shouldn’t mess with an artist, forever cement your stupidity and infidelity into history and I’m sorry SOME GUY and thank you God Lizzie understands me, but THE GIRL I really hope you are listening closely to this and it ruins your f*** ing evening, b*** . Ruins your f*** ing evening, b*** Ruins your f*** ing evening Ruins your f*** ing evening, b*** Ruins your f*** ing evening
Comments
The artist currently doesn't allow comments.