My first time experiencing unwanted advances from a lesbian at a gay bar
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Story behind the song
Went to "Club Pegasus" in Pittsburgh where Jackie approached me. She asked for my number, I gave it to her, then realized I wanted nothing to do with her. Thus came this song.
Lyrics
Jackie in the bar,
You've got your drink and you've got your car.
Your friends wanna leave but you wanna stay where you are.
I can't really see your face,
Geez, it is kind of dark in this place,
Your friends wanna leave but you just want a taste.
I'm a little too kind to withhold my number from you,
So now I must withstand all the stalkerish sh** that you do.
Jackie in the club,
You went downtown lookin' for love,
Take one look at me, can't you tell it's gonna be tough?
So your shoes kinda matched your shirt,
Our chit chat was so awkward it hurt,
I should've told you to leave, I need to work on being curt.
I should've said, "Jackie,
You have one too many piercings in you,
That's not okay, it's something I don't do,
And I can't tell what size you really are.
But I can tell that you are a butt head,
You don't look at me, you light a cig instead,
Without eye contact, we're not going far."
Jackie of the night,
I could tell something wasn't right,
When the bartender shot me a look during your plight.
And, to top things off further yet,
I couldn't find you on the internet,
To see if I liked what I saw before my mind was set.
You text me and say that you want a summer fling.
Well, Jackie, my pal, I had better fill you in on something:
I'm very picky 'bout who I'll have flings with.
I don't just fling the word fling around,
I wear my retainer every night of the week,
So my flawless smile knocks you to the ground.
My vision's impaired; I should wear my glasses,
But I wear contacts so there's no refractions,
My captivating eyes draw you right in,
You are spellbound by your attraction.
Better wake up, there's no time for dreaming,
Leave your godddamn purse in the car.
One wallet's enough, and, baby, mine's chalk full,
Bring my I.D. so they know I'm a star.
Jackie in the bar,
I'm a star.
And do not really know who you are.
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