Confusing guilt upon denying men
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Story behind the song
A guy in college had his eye on me for a while, and when he finally got the courage to ask me out, I told him the truth: I'd love to be friends, but I'm a lesbian. Do you still want to hang out?
We became friends, but it was apparent that he really wanted to be more, so we had to terminate the relationship. It was a very sad time.
Lyrics
(Verse 1)
What's consistent besides time?
Not food, not friends, not thought,
I thought I could give it a shot,
But my lips were not drawn to yours.
You're arrogant, you know it,
I'm not intimidated.
Compared to girls you've dated,
I'm intriguing and I show it.
Cuddling with you, eyes half open,
Exhaling, praying, hoping,
Wishing I was something that I wasn't,
Winking it at me cause it's
What you did with other girls.
You're playing on my curls,
You're sleeping on my couch outside.
I'm sorry if you think I lied.
(Chorus):
But I can't be as normal as you want me,
Even though you say you love me just the way I am.
I'll crush your dreams if you can't see what's real,
I know what you may feel, it's not the way it seems.
Our souls combined; you may think I'm yours and you are mine,
But I cannot be true to a man, to you.
(Verse 2)
Your fingers move so soft and slow,
I let my conscience go
And tell you what you need to know,
But not what you would want to hear.
You waited for a year,
Before your drive and confrontation,
But you weren't paid for your patience,
Better hazy hopes than clear-
Despair forms on your face,
And a sad change in demeanor,
Wishing that you'd never seen her,
Seemingly a huge disgrace.
She wants to be your friend,
Is she lying? Is she false?
You feel an increase in your pulse,
As your insides attempt to mend.
(Chorus)
(Break)
(Chorus)
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