Big D - Who I Want To Be.mp3
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Lyrics
HOOK: I look up at the sky and wonder
Is this who I want to be, am I really happy, with just being me
He was feeling glad it was the first day of class
At a new school he packed up leavin behind his old past
He wanted to make friends, but knew it wouldn't last
Always the new kid never stayed long enough to have
A friend - someone to confy to, someone to share the feelings that bottle up inside you
Lookin at himself in the mirror in the morning
Wondering if his own mom knows that she ignores him
But he just asorbs it, all the hate inside him. No outlet so he handles it in silence
The demons haunt him daily got him leaning toward violence, have daydreams about stapling peoples eye lids.
Sick sh**
But those thoughts always stayed in his dreams
Innocent on the outside or thats how it seemed
A quiet kid thats bursting at the seams
Wondering who he really is and living really means
Hes home alone again but hes use to it by now
Sitting on the coach headphones on turned up loud
He's hopin that the sound can block out his thoughts
Trying to distance himself away from a world that is flawed
It never works hes just a pissed of kid
Worried about that bully yesterday he said I know where you live
Schools gettin to hard he takes it day by day
Feeling enslaved everday feels like hes diggin a grave
Feeling ashamed, with every turn of the page
Anger and rage locked up inside his own damn cage
All you need is cough syrup to make the whole world fade
He fried his mind yesterday those feelings went away
Then he woke up, cold sweat as his heartbeat racing
Closer to death with each breath as he felt his whole chest cave-in
His last thought he told himself I just need to relax
A look in the mirror his fate was clear eyes went black -- collapse
Beep beep wakes up to his heart beat
IV in his arm and looks up sees his family
The look on there faces the disbelief
Like they didn't want to see how far he had fallen
Who he really was underneath
He told them why he did it, told his mom how he felt
She never had an idea of what kind of pain that he held
He said that he was sorry and hes looking for help
Tears fell from his face heart starting to melt
Hes starting to realize he has alot to live for
Its time to let people in unlock those doors
Aint no reason to hide, lie or depise who you are
Your life is a delicate complex work of art
I'm telling you, after high school life gets alot better
Don't let words get you down, you got to hold it all together
Bullies bully you to make themselves feel better
Just focus on being you and stay positive forever
He was feelin glad it was his first day of class
At a new school he packed up leaving behind his old past
He made alot of friends and he knew that it would last
Never the new kid again, home is what he has
