This is about a girl that I used to be close to, but then somewhere along the fine line of friendship and hate, we crossed over and basically stopped talking forever. I talked about what she meant to me...
I've listened to rap/hiphop since late elementary/start of middle school and I always thought it would be tiite to rap too or somethin. I never wrote anything seriously or anythin like that till this year. It's a late start compared to others but there's always gotta be a startin point riie? I got a lotta inspiration from the some ill korean kids on kp and aznraps.
Story behind the song
***BEAT: SoLETERNiTY - After Laughter***
***thanks to Eungee for doing the chorus for me***
She was the first person in Korea that I met that I believed actually liked me for who I am. But after a while, I had a grudge believing that she was using me; when I think about it now, it was just me being pessimistic about everybody and everything around me. But there were times when she used me or took advantage of me that sparked this hate movement. So I expressed our differences and wrote what she meant to me and how she enlightened my life by the subtle things she did for me.
***BEAT: SoLETERNiTY - After Laughter***
Lyrics
it's been, 3 months since i spoke to you
what was it that separated us
my thoughts are concentrated wonderin what degraded us
cuz when times got too tough
neither would confront but just give up
just to my luck tonite you tell me sorry wishin to tie up loose ends and to be friends
well thass fucked up
have you ever thought about the pain that you've caused me
the suicidal feelings stirrin around in my head
every night and day wishin that i was dead
CHORUS
after the laughter comes tears
but in the end, you must conquer all your fear
the first words that you tellin me, i'm leavin tomorrow'
i'm confused should i be happy or start feelin the sorrow?
you borrowed my money and homework i let you copy
but in the end you stabbed me left me being broken and hollow
just now you apoligized for being 'not so nice to me'
but can you tell me that you love me truly for being me?
but your words make me worry if i was ever worthy
to be a part of you or was my visions really blurry?
and now that you're leaving i try to call up your digits
but it's ringin forever -- that's it -- just as i figured
i sent a message to your phone waited to see if you would get it
but at 8 alarm was bitchin and you didn't return it
the knife's proceedin the bleedin deceivin all of my grievin
i'm feelin heated impeded being unheeded by jesus
i'm dreamin, seein the flaws of every human being
this korean caused my breathin to deceasin every season
CHORUS(x2)
you were my bright light in the night and plus my guard when i fight
my ink when i write, my hope when i just might tonite
committ suicide, but deep inside you kept me alive
the truth when i'd been the man enough to apoligize
so why did you try to fool me with your lies
when you had to apoligize why did it take so much time?
you were my comforter standin by moments before i die
but in the end my friend beside caused my demise
it's too late not to hate how you affected my fate
i feel the pain all thru my veins every time i hear your name
you're the one who seemed to always encourage me to say
through the rain and cloudy days there's a bright day on its way
you taught me all these lessons, although you never said em'
like an angel from heaven i learned straight from your expression
problems or stressin, you'd scare away the satan
i was never second but you'd assure that i'm the safe one
once took shots wishin it works till i'm dead
then i smoked cigarettes with friends just to fit in
felt pain till it hurt my liver to the head
then you came from heaven to guide me in the right direction
CHORUS(x2)
but now that you're gone i know i gotta stay strong
it may seem i'm alone, but i can feel thru the time zone
it may be a while long, before i see your face soon
but i can wait too cuz you taught patience is a virtue
if in the near future we never see each other
it doesn't really matter cuz we had times together
as years make us older and continue to mature
our bond will never sever i'll remember you forever
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