This is what would happen if S Dubya, rather than plain old Mike Shaeffer, arrived at PNC Park.
Lyrics
Alrighty, hey, Big Shaeff is here
Party can start now, everywhere
Gotta get to our seats, don't know we're sitting
Probably up high 'cause I'm cheap with that sort of thing
'Cause I didn't make money writing checks
One seat's just as good as the next
Got money for the Lex', but in the end who cares
Peeps seeing the same game everywhere
Plus I'm hanging with lames who don't got any game
Dragging me down with them, man, crying shame
That's the reality of me
No one around is as rowdy as me
Or even close to being as cool
They know what its like, to have been a Bull
In the 90's, when Jordan was around
Everyone inferior, no one make a sound
'Cause this is my favorite place
The best place in the world, where I show my face
Peeps who don't think so are pricks
Better call Big Shaeff, I got the tix
'Cause I'm S Dub, and I'm friends with Frank
Everytime he sees me he would like to thank
Me, for being a celebrity fan
A genius, and a hell of a man
I'm a hell of a guy
That's what my mom says, and she wouldn't lie
Looking fly with my J's and my black on black hat
Stargell jersey, and my brim's still flat
This is how it is
Girls walk by and shower me with gifts
Just here to see a game
Yeah, I'll sign, it's the price of fame
Will they all shed tears?
Is me leaving the sum of their fears?
Can't mess with this, been doing it for years
S Dubya's in the house, I'm back in the biz-niz