Washington’s Favorite Things
A Parody of “My Favorite Things”
New Lyrics by Steve Bryant
Talking in Congress about homosexuals
Trying to sound like you’re all intellectuals.
Speaking like experts on don’t ask, don’t tell.
As everything else goes straight down to Hell.
Don’t give a damn about how much we’re bleeding,
Passing each new bill without ever reading.
Pretending we’re winning in Afghanistan.
Moving ahead without having a plan.
Don’t read constituent emails and faxes
Claiming you forgot to pay all your taxes.
Piling on earmarks and acting like kings,
These are a few of your favorite things.
When the term ends,
You have no friends,
Just the ones you bought.
You simply remember your favorite things,
And hope that we all forgot.
Pretending you’re reaching right across the aisle,
Lying through your teeth while you’re wearing a smile.
Stabbing the other side right in the back.
Rationalizing why we fought Iraq.
Making up stories about air pollution,
Ignoring the Bill of Rights and Constitution.
Passing new taxes like you have the runs.
Discovering new ways to take all of our guns.
Claiming you do everything just to protect us
Making up new ways poke and inspect us.
Molding new puppets and hiding the strings.
These are a few of your favorite things.
When you get caught,
Don’t be distraught.
You can make amends.
Bend over in your cell and take a deep breath.
As you make some brand new friends.
