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Wannabe Fighting Someone
Written by Matthias, Sang by Below Average Dave, a winning parody of Michael Jackson's 'Wannabe Startin' Something' about the hit movie Fight Club
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Podcasts - Parody
Previous peak charts position #29
Previous peak charts position in subgenre #6
Matthias (writer)/B.A. Dave (Singer)
January 16, 2009
MP3 5.0 MB
128 kbps bitrate
5:25 minutes
Story behind the song
Written as part of a contest called AmIRight Idol. This won the "epic parody" round in a tie with Gianni's parody, congrats Matthias!
“Want you to hit me as hard as you can” Cause I wanna be fighting someone I think we should start a Fight Club Cause I wanna be fighting someone I will clobber your shoulder (Pow! Pow!) While we’re down in the gutter (Pow! Pow!) Whack you with a fiddle (Pow! Twang!) That might sting a little (Pow! Pow!) Till you pray that it’s over (Pow! Pow!) I will mold you like butter (Pow! Pow!) You’re scrawny and brittle (Pow! Pow!) These few scars make you nimble (Pow! Pow!) Every Friday you’ll see your doctor Cause on Thursday you will have a beat down While we’re boxing in the streets Just wondering what you’ll break now Hey Kids! Do you like violence?! Toss your games out in the rubbish You’re forced to keep a vow of silence If you shut your trap you’ll be fighting someone Dude you’re going to bleed from somewhere But don’t you try to yank on my hair! And you’re going to be breaking some bones Except when you’re fighting alone Use the headlock or choker (Gag! Gag!) Don’t you dare bring that gun here (Boom! Boom!) Bash his skull with a cymbal (Clang! Clang!) And he’ll be seeing triple (Ow! Ow!) Try the tricks in this folder (Pow! Pow!) Yes, There’s more if you wonder (Pow! Pow!) Shove your fist in his dimples (Pow! Pow!) Make his jaw unstable (Pow! Pow!) You fought all the thugs from the hood They were tough and yet you still stood Cause without their knives and razors They are weaklings wearing blazers Don’t you start that crying Cause Band-Aids we’re supplying If you feel like you’re dying Then you should train at fighting You think you want to be beating someone Stress relieved by kicking some bum Your doctor said stop drinking all of that rum And then stop fighting while your drunk No hitting the belt or lower (Pow! Pow!) Cause his voice will get higher (Eee! Hee!) You’ve lost teeth can’t nibble (Pow! Pow!) And your dentist trembles (Eww! Eww!) In battle with a chauffer (Beep! Beep!) Drives limos, He’s no boxer (Pow! Pow!) From his nose blood might dribble (Drip! Drip!) Can he still haul people? (Honk! Honk!) In the hospital (In the hospital) Need a physical (Need a physical) You need stitches (You need stitches) Surgeon general (Surgeon general) Fix my arm and leg (Fix my arm and leg) In the hospital (In the hospital) When Advil won’t do (When Advil won’t do) I need medical (I need medical) Ouch! While at work you’re always limping With those crutches you are gimping And your shirt has those blood splatters A promotion doesn’t matter In basements we’ll keep fighting Pulled off your ear when I’m biting Because I feel so enlightened When I’m here beating the crap out of someone You know I want to be kicking some ass While we’re wrestling out in the grass And then I might knock some teeth out As I shove my foot deep in your mouth Run down with a lawnmower (Chop! Chop!) Or perhaps a steamroller (Squish! Squish!) Burn your face on the griddle (Fry! Fry!) And then get wet with spittle (Pa-Tooie!) Getting bitten by Rover (Ruff! Ruff!) Are you allergic to clover? (Achoo!) With the stick that I whittled (Cut! Cut!) You’re stabbed in the nostril (Stab! Stab!) Go see Doctor Bill (Go see Doctor Bill) At the hospital (At the hospital) He might save you (He might save you) If some cash you pull (If some cash you pull) You’re so bloody (You’re so bloody) It looks terrible (It looks terrible) Something’s wrong with you (Something’s wrong with you) Visit hospitals Ouch! Ouch! Boo-Hoo!!! Ow! Don’t you cry like a wussy (Pow! Pow!) Cause we ain’t playing footsie (Pow! Pow!) You will be called a pussy (Pow! Pow!) If there’s pain in your tushie (Pow! Pow!) If kicking butt is your wish Than you just may be Irish And although blood’s not stylish Still kicking butt is your wish I said you’re gonna be tasting pavement Hope missing teeth ain’t a lament And you feel you’re whole body’s painful Your t-shirt is bloody stain filled When you’re beat with a hammer (Swing! Swing!) There is nothing more funner! (Hee-hee) Forced to limp and stumble (Trip! Trip!) You know you might tumble (Fall! Fall!) You got bit by a hamster (Rat! Rat!) Then got hit with a crowbar (Pow! Pow!) All these drunks won’t act civil (Pow! Pow!) Dropkicks make them giggle (Swift kick!) If you like to fight Then let those fists unfurl You have no fear of blood And don’t mind it if you hurl Your friends can hurt you now Because you want them to And they’ll punch you in your face It’s what they like to do! Finally finished! I’m in pain but not done till I break my jaw ---(Repeat until you’re too hurt to continue)---