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50 Ways to Cure the Depression
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Charts
Peak #71
Peak in subgenre #10
Author
J. Wrabek
Rights
2009
Uploaded
March 12, 2009
MP3
MP3 4.1 MB, 128 kbps, 4:26
Lyrics
[4/4, mod. fast w/prominent beat] 50 WAYS TO CURE THE DEPRESSION --J. Wrabek (with apologies to “Big Bob” Provus and Paul Simon) [THE RAP: Times, folks, is hard. The government’s solution--give money to the banks—doesn’t seem to be working that well, and I thought we might want to look at some other ideas. (I should preface this with Edward Abbey’s caveat—never do something illegal unless it’s with the consent of your parents, or at night.) So how DO you cure a Depression? Well, let us count the ways…] 1. “You know it’s really all inside your head,” they said to me; You should’ve known that pension fund was just illusory; You never really liked your house, your job or S.U.V. And now there’s 50 ways to cure the Depression. 2. I sat down and wrote a list of things that I could do; It occurred to me that some of them would prob’ly work for you; We’ve got to help each other in our struggle to be free— There must be 50 ways to cure the Depression. There must be 50 ways to cure the Depression. REPRISE 1: Knock off a bank, Frank Hijack a truck, Chuck Launder some money, Honey Let’s get some relief. Learn how to forge, George Write some big checks, Lex Pay off the bills, Phil And get some relief. 3. Don’t moan how you’ve been punished for that life you spent in sin, And think outside that cardboard box that you been living in Just ‘cause you’re in the toilet doesn’t mean you have to be— There must be 50 ways to cure the Depression. There must be 50 ways to cure the Depression. REPRISE 2: Try a new scam, Pam Start up a church, Lurch Learn how to beg, Greg Let’s get some relief. Grow a little pot, Dot It doesn’t take a whole lot I think we’re on our own, Joan To get some relief. [GRATUITOUS INSTRUMENTAL BREAK—VERSE PROGRESSION] 4. If I still had a telephone, I’d call the President But they say that he knows ev’rything so what’s the point in it; Besides, I vote Republican--he ain’t gonna listen to me ‘Bout no 50 ways to cure the Depression. 50 ways to cure the Depression. [GRATUITOUS INSTRUMENTAL BREAK—CHORUS PROGRESSION] 5. By now, you’ve prob’ly figured out my list is not complete; Feel free to add your own ideas--e-mail them to me; We’ve got to help each other in our struggle to be free— There must be 50 ways to cure the Depression. There must be 50 ways to cure the Depression. REPRISE 3: Strike up the band, Stan Write a new song, Hmong Take it on the road, Joe And get some relief. We could be famous, Amos Make a lot of bucks, Ducks Let’s do it together, Heather And get some relief. 6TH & LAST VERSE (no chorus): Worryin’ about the future never made it go away; If what you got is lemons, better sell some lemonade Stop waitin’ for salvation, start repeatin’ after me: There must be 50 ways to cure the Depression. There must be 50 ways to cure the Depression [REPEAT UNTIL THE CROWD IS SHOUTING ALONG WITH YOU] There must be 50 ways… to cure… the Depression. ©2009 J. Wrabek dba Outside Services Ltd. All the usual rights reserved just in case.
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