[4/4, uptempo] ANOTHER CRAPPY CHRISTMAS --Don Varnell (lyrics), J. Wrabek (music) V1 I tried to call you on the cell phone But the jailer took it away for bad behavior What a thing to do the day we celebrate the birthday of the Savior. The bondsman says he's ready but there's no judge around to set my bail. It's another crappy Christmas incarcerated in the county jail CHORUS It's another crappy Christmas incarcerated in the county jail With a sugar plum fairy staring at me from the corner of the cell On the floor a snoring Santa and his elf sleep it off back to back And this lonesome cowboy wishes he was in your arms instead of where he's at V2 I finally wrote you a love letter But the maid forgot to leave some extra Charmin And the thought of tearing pages from the Bible on the tank is too alarming. But the only other paper's laying trampled on the greasy concrete floor So there's ink stains and I love you tattooed backwards on the inside of my shorts. CHORUS BRIDGE Silent Night at midnight sung off key is making everybody sad And this lonesome cowboy wishes he was in your arms instead of where he's at © 2008 Don Varnell