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I Saw My Girlfriend Kissing Santa Claus
An Elvis-style riff on a Christmas song
Podcasts - Comedy
Previous peak charts position #49
Previous peak charts position in subgenre #16
Z. Mulls/Brian Boland
2008
May 29, 2008
1 version uploaded:
MP3 3.5 MB  •  128 kbps  •  3:48
On 2 playlists
Story behind the song
I wrote this with my friend Brian Boland years ago, long before I was writing lyrics seriously. This is a fun number we performed at cabarets a couple of times. The demo was produced (and is performed by) Darryl Gregory of Blue Cave Studios
Lyrics
I went shopping with my girlfriend just the other day And things just got a little weird I stepped out to sneak a peek at all the lingerie I came back and she had disappeared I found the toy department I pulled back a flap I saw my baby sitting on Santa's lap They were hugging, they were kissing, they were smooching & caressin' All over his beard Oh, Santa, Santa Don't make me cry I'm in love with my baby and that's no lie Why doncha go and find some cute little elf? I wanna keep my baby all to myself Oh, Santa, Santa Don't make me weep Who'da thought that Santa was a big, fat creep I'm the saddest Who in Whoville that there ever was Since I caught my only baby kissing Santa Claus I took a look behind me at the Christmas tree A line of kids stretched down the aisle My girlfriend stayed a-sittin' on Santa's knee They were turning up the romance dial I cleared my throat I let out a yell He jumped up with a tingle of his jingle bell (And as he) took his place my girlfriend stood there smiling A Candy Cane smile Oh, Santa, Santa, Don't make me sad I love my little baby and I've been had I looked the other way and how could I know (She had a) secret little stash of mistletoe Santa, Santa, (I'm) climbing the walls Cause she's the one I wanna have deck my halls (I'm a) glummer drummer boy and I get no applause Since I caught my pretty baby kissing Santa Claus My honey stood there grinning with a happy glow And I was all lit up like a wire She said she only got in good with Santa so He'd bring us stuff we desire I said to her, "Santa Better hang up his wreath, 'Cause all I want for Christmas is his two front teeth, (And if he's) sliding down our chimney then I'm gonna build me A mighty big fire" Oh, Santa, Santa Give me a break I'm in love with my baby, that's no mistake I know I've been naughty once or twice But I promise next year that I will always be nice Santa, Santa She's on my list She's the sweetest little sugarplum I ever have kissed I'm the reddest-nosed reindeer in the world because I caught my pretty baby kissing Santa Claus Santa, Santa Don't make me blue I'm in love with my darling, you know it's true Wrap her up as a present for me Let me open her up by the Christmas tree Oh, Santa, Santa, Don't leave me low Who'da thought me baby was a Ho! Ho! Ho! I'm the frostiest snowman with the coldest paws And I caught my gal red-handed kissing Santa Claus
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