CHIPMUNKS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE Chipmunks roasting on an open fire, Bluebirds nipping at your nose, Yuletide carolers being hung from a wire And folks pissed off at Eskimos; Ev'rybody knows The turkeys ate the mistletoe; Birds that dumb deserve to die; And tiny tots that to bed will not go Will join them, later on tonight. You see, there's someone on her way And she got lots of toys and goodies to display, And any little eyes that try to spy Will see if children really know how to fly... And so I'm offering this warning once, In case you haven't got a clue: Get your asses to bed Or you'll wish you were dead-- Merry Christmas to you. [SHORT INSTRUMENTAL BREAK, THEN REPEAT VERSE TO END] (c) 2007. All the usual rights reserved just in case. No animals were harmed in the writing of this song.