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The Ballad of Jenelle
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This song is for and about my best friend Jenelle, who does an amazing job, but no body knows about it. So I wrote her an epic country ballad to make her the stuff of legends.
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Charts
Peak #109
Peak in subgenre #53
Author
Douglas MacKrell
Rights
Douglas MacKrell 2007
Uploaded
January 16, 2007
MP3
MP3 8.1 MB, 128 kbps, 8:51
Lyrics
There are many types of story told dear listener Some are quick and easily forgotten While others are so extraordinary They are told from generation to generation untill their tales become legendary this is one such story Now this is important so write it on down That Mrs. Johnson’s daughter always wore a big frown So she thought to throw a party and invite the whole town And would need the very best children’s party clown She searched high and she searched low She even went as far as to search too and frow So her daughter she could show A really great time for not much dough Her options they were limited She looked so hard she nearly fainted Through countless performers she weeded Until on Craig’s list this she posted I need a performer for a show Balloon animals they’ll need to blow Be as strong as a bucking bronco And I’ll need them on the pronto They can be a chica or chico I’m not looking for just any schmoe So to my daughter I can be a hero And to my neighbors not look cheepo Mrs. Johnson had all but given up hope Dear friends she was at the end of her rope So sad that she could barely cope Until a received an email she did scope The email it was from one of her friends About a girl who truly transcends What a clown should be and recommends That they hire her cause she’ll even work weekends. So she called her up right on the spot Hoping that the girl wasn’t a crackpot And faster than a cowboy can tie a bowknot She awnserd the line and kindly ended her fraught Oh Jenelle is the greatest Her wit is the sharpest She is a cunning linguist Her truth is the frankest She may not be the tallest She may not be the tannest But her heart is the purest Oh Jenelle Legend of the party clowns, Jenelle Now Mrs. Johnson was truly impressed Because Jenelle isn’t just a clown she’s a princess She’s been a mermaid or fairy and explorer named Doris And she’s performed numerous parties including a briss So Jenelle was hired as quick as can be For a reasonable price with an over time fee But Jenelle would have to buy her props quickly Because the party was panned for this coming Sunday Time passed fast, but Jenelle wasn’t scared Just like a boy scout she was always prepared She unpacked her wig because Johnson had declared That fairy princesses aren’t dark haired Oh Jenelle is the greatest Her skin is the fairest Her courage is the bravest With children she’s the kindest She may not be a harpist Or an award winning cellist But she certainly is the hottest Oh Jenelle Legend of the party clowns Jenelle Jenelle pulled up in her tiny beige car And using it like her own personal boudoir Changed into her costume in an act most limber That if seen, in a Girls Gone Wild Video she would star She marched up to the door in her frilly pink dress And Mrs. Johnson pointed to the back yard access Jenelle adjusted her pointed hat with finesse And set off to the guests she would surely impress That’s when she saw the child a sight most vile this sad sack she would have to beguile so she told the kid joke about a one legged reptile That’s when she saw the first hints of a smile Oh Jenelle is the greatest Her laugh is the richest Her voice is the sweetest Her smile is the warmest She is quite modest That’s why she’s not a nudist Even so she gets noticed Oh Jenelle Legend of the party clowns, Jenelle Jenelle told many a story and painted many a face And from the birthday girl even received an embrace So she thought she had accomplished her job just like an ace When a man stumbled toward her in a drunken disgrace This man was as huge as a thanksgiving feast Blocking out the sun from the north, west, and east He stared Jenelle down like a fiery beast But our girl Jenelle didn’t move the least Through garlic breath he began his speech How women were worthless and continued to preach And Jenelle’s answer she didn’t screech But her words cut through him like a knife through a peach Oh Jenelle is the greatest A very talented artist Her gaze is the fiercest Her dreams she follows in earnest Her hair may not be the tamest And she may not be the sanest But her friends are the proudest Oh Jenelle, Legend of the party clowns Jenelle After Jenelle had told him just how to sit and spin The fatty blubbered tears stained in cheese puffs and gin Snot rocked from his nose which he wiped with a napkin And jiggled off to the house and the safety therein With a tear in her eye the little girl swore That no body had ever stood up for her before And now that her father wasn’t as cocksure Because of Jenelle, she would be confident forever more Mrs. Johnson thanked Jenelle for a job well done Even paid her extra for the distance driven And told her in their house she’d always be welcome For quieting her daughter’s piggly demon Now this dear friends is our stories last refrain Bout a girl who solved her problem not with brawn but with brain How a child’s happiness she did skillfully maintain And that’s why Jenelle would do it all over again Because Jenelle is the greatest Her body is the ablest Her fashion is the poshest She always works the hardest She may not be a gymnast Or a medal winning cyclist But she makes a great breakfast Oh Jenelle Jenelle is the greatest Her manners are the quaintest Her movements are the sleekest In our regards she is the highest She may be defeatist And she may not be an optimist But to our hearts she is the closest Oh Jenelle Greatest of the party clowns Jenelle
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