Hip hop hillbillies cut this funky twangdoodle of a groove with healthy bluegrass elements. Peace out y'all!
Previous peak charts position #181
Previous peak charts position in subgenre #38
Rampant Jake Bullets
Rampant Jake Bullets Moonshine Jug Band
November 24, 2005
Story behind the song
With absentee fathers and inebriate mothers cartoons often became the parental figure to grow up with. Though they were violent, sexist and downright dodgy they were all we had so don't blame us for the next generation of 'toons which, to fit in with the downfall of social morals, are going to be even wronger.
I used TV as another fucking parent
Because I wanted love but I wasn;t into sharing
The needle with Shmeegel but I call her "mom"
By my fifth birthday my old man was gone
For hours a day messages to my brain
Searching for channels instead of a vein
Cartoons, their values, to most of them, thankyou
I couldn't have made it this far without you
While mommy and granny played naked kabaddi
I had no-one to look up to, no Mr Miagi
When the guy from Def Leppard had his arm severed
Miagi would teach him how to finish his record
"Well Miagi san, I will paint your fence
I will sweep the yard and be tender in bed
But the car cleaning thing is where it goes wrong
Wax on, wax on, wax on, wax on"
With no Miagi I would look to Shaggy
"A beatnik with a tapeworm?" But he was happy
And so we were raised, shaped our world view
On the wit and the wisdom of Scooby Doo
Unmask the beast, Gary Glitter's who it is
"I would've got away if it weren't for meddling with kids"
That fucking skunk, it was Pepe Le Pew
Began to play with my screws started working them loose
The example he set, a program in my head
If they play hard to get become a sexual threat
You can stalk them and slap them, call and kidnap them
But don't try to romance them as that's sexual harassment
Drop a safe on your head or even an anvil
Hit you with a brick and end up in a landfill
But if they remake it they have to update it
For the kids who are jaded even though they will hate it
(pre) So where's the next step? Where you gonna go?
Where are the limits of a cartoon show?
(chorus) I can't wait 'cos I know it's coming soon
Date Rape Dog and Rohypnol Raccoon
Burberry Fox and Yosodomy Sam
A cure for the PC tan
Political correctness will come to protect us
Make sure we're sexless before it affects us
Now chivalry is dead and my words are blunt
I might get a red cap and wear it back to front
"Good god we don't want you to be sexually active
Base Teela's figure on Margaret Thatcher"
I know it's incredible but would it be oedipal
If I now wished that celluloid was edible
All this profanity comes from the anarchy
Of cat versus mouse with a chainsaw insanity
Fall off a cliff I wouldn't die or so I thought
But superheroes cripple when they fall of a horse
"We're in power, our wives try to ban them
To stop the kids and their hand cannons"
Shot in the face but that won't stop them
"Maybe that's why we have such a gun problem?"
With education and parents failing
Find a common target to stick the blame on
"Can't find Osama? Try Bananas In Pyjamas"
It ain't a cartoon but they're still a part of
Light hearted decadence making no common sense
At least in my day they were based around violence
It ain't gonna sell to the kids under twelve
Who's speak and spell will only say 'fuck'
Animation amateurs coming up with characters
See how it be when they breach the parameters
But they are faceless and this is the basis
For Tipa Gore to thawed from her cryogenic stasis
They want Iron Mong to appear on TV
"Spastic fused with technology"
The redneck baboon is angry and drunk
I like Disco Hitler, the fuhrer of funk
When my heart got screwed it was broken in two
But Dogtanian's mom could repair the wound
I looked for her balms and her creams and her charms
Do you know the reason I could find none?
You think French catholics would've stood for her tricks
Called her the daughter of six sixty six
Potions and lotions equals devotion
To that goat legged, horn headed fan of Hulk Hogan
1748 they would not tolerate
Proclaim her a witch and burn her at the stake
But now today the pharmaceutical trade
Has wiped 'curing diseases' from Christ's resume
I know it's hard to believe but some people attack me
So I serach for an answer with a google for 'acme'
That's one of those claims that you know isn't true
Like Jenny From The Block or the threat of bird flu
The death of innocence under their influence
'Gimme one example' look who is president
One cartoon really stuck in his head
I can't do the voice but this is what he said
"I am George, prince of america
Defender of the secrets of Starbucks and Marlboro
This is Condoleeza my nuclear weasel
Everything she does jsut that wrong side of legal
Fabulous secrets were revealed to me
In the oval office when I did a Lewinsky
I held aloft daddy's magic sword
And said 'no' to Kyoto and 'yes' to war
I am king so fuck the rest of you
I proclaim 'By the power of Texaco!'
She became mightier than Oprah
And I became a cunt"
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