Dark mode
$cientology Sucks!
Free download
$cientology SUCKS!!!
Podcasts - Comedy
Charts #4,248 today (peak #23)
Charts #1,537 in subgenre today (peak #11)
Queso/ Touchmonkey
Joint Trench Records 2002
February 03, 2003
1 version uploaded:
MP3 5.6 MB  •  128 kbps  •  0:00
On 11 playlists
Story behind the song
$cientology SUCKS!!!
So long and thanks for all the clams. Your scams got nailed while our post was manned, but now we abandon you like old news. Lots of clown feet gonna fill our clown shoes. Lots of people here to enturbulate. Lots of people here to set your lies straight. Lots of people here to help free your slaves. We'll be back in time to piss on your graves. If you forgot - well here's a reminder. Fuck Dave Mis****ge, fuck Michael Ri***r. Fuck Ava Paq****e and fuck Heber Jen****h. I hope when you hear this your ass cheeks clench. Fuck L. Ron Hubbard - that drunken charlatan. Completely fraudulent. Preyed on the innocent. Drugged-up and impotent, sure to misrepresent never said a thing he meant. Totally irrelevant. Fuck $cientology, it's a bunch of bullshit. In it for the money from the get rich quick set. They fill you full of stupid while they dwindle your accounts, and then they leave you hanging while the debt mounts. The "bridge to total freedom" has a toll-booth every 15 feet, but there is nowhere you can stop so you can get some sleep. It's all lies from a dead con man. Just lies from a dead con man. First they want your money, then they want your mind. It's a legal crime and they do it all the time, but everyday brings a new revelation and each revelation brings a new truth, and every truth is a powerful weapon that dispells disingenuous spoof. Cause the cult is a spoof and a scam and a lie. A ruthless untruth that demands freedom die, and lots of people here are gonna shout it to the skies until the whole world sees the true sleaze of these guys and says: $cientology Sucks! (X4) Here's some parting words for the turds that are clams from space. Hiding in a place where no one can find them. David Mis****ge's rectum is grinded by Heber, Helena, sometimes Kendrick M***n. Reality slides as they ride his buttocks, the old one that's coiled in place of his balls patiently waits for the come of it's thralls. Davey's rectum expands to a sickening size. Large vessels are needed to hold all the lies Hubbard shat from his mouth with the feces he'd speak. His bullshit gave birth to a species of creep, religion so cheap with a story so flimsy. A dogma constructed of lies on a whimsy. Old L. Ron was a weak willed guy who believed what he saw on the acid fry so he stole some ideas so his book would fly then he built up a cult so the dolts could buy the diarreah that he conceived in his drug addled mind. Now they gobble Davey's gravy and they never ask why - so fuck $cientology, they'll suck 'til they die. $cientology Sucks! - A greedy, fat guru - who couldn't get it up. $cientology Sucks! - Magic was used to turn his ass into a cunt. $cientology Sucks! - The lies are for sale and you're paying up front. $cientology Sucks! - The current head Davey's an impotent runt. People turned to slaves who sell their soul to pay their way out of alien possession. People spend their days just fixating their gaze on technically induced obsession. $cientology Sucks! Fuck $cientology! A UFO cult with a mafia lawyer: $cientology Sucks! A pyramid scheme with a spritual twist: $cientology Sucks! A cancerous vessel on a sea of deception: $cientology Sucks! A midget at the helm who's a total fascist: $cientology Sucks! $cientology Sucks! The bullshit is thick and the damage is real. $cientology Sucks! We know that Hubbard's dead taint is Mis****ge's meal. $cientology Sucks! We know that Jack Parsons made L. Ron Hubbard squeal. $cientology Sucks! And bark like a seal while he plooked him with zeal.