This collaboration was a godsend for her, as it kept her active as a composer for nearly forty years. But she would have preferred (it seems to me) to be seen strictly as a composer and have her music played in the group downtown concerts. She feels that Feldman in particular sabotaged her efforts in that regard. Apparently Cage took an early and immediate liking to her work, following a concert, but Feldman (who was also there) spent all night trying to convince Cage that her work was worthless. She found this out later from Wolff, who was also present that night. She is dismayed to see the tremendous rise of interest nowadays in the music of Feldman, whom she considered a despicable man. She also feels that Cage never forgave her for choosing Varese over him.

When she worked with Hawkins (who died in 1994), the collaboration greatly resembled that between Cage and Cunningham, in the sense that neither art form supported or illustrated the other. However, the two art forms did confront one another in a way that the I don't know how he found that place. (Things were looking worse.) It was cold and sweet. It was cold and sweet. I was just thinking. Thick walls are important. (I'm loving the way you walk with me so quietly, contentedly.) Love, and hate, are powerful emotions. What are we going to do tonight? I asked. Don't do that, the cat pointed out. I can never describe the walk back to my truck. It was time... I was just thinking. I'd thought it was sad to hate the forest the way she'd done. He wanted to know more. I can never describe the walk back to my truck. Can you tell me the answer? she asked. bWF0dGxvdmUxQGVhcnRobGluay5uZXQ=