A parody of America's "Sister Golden Hair." Revenge of the lawn (furniture).... Special thanks to Rick Duncan for providing the backing track.
This one was about 90% Pippin authored. (Merry added the "piddle" and "breed an heir" lines, the "slinky corkscrew" and "Willie-cide" as well as the first two lines of the song and a bit of one chorus).
Well I pried this shaky lawn chaise
But I guess the hinges stressed
And it’s left me kind of stunned, hey?
‘Cus it happened while undressed
It was made down in Gibraltar
Shoddy workmanship’s a crime
Now this furniture attacks me all the time
Sell it cheap, so cheap I bought two
It’s a folding chair surprise
And it’s rusty springs and loose screws
Causin’ water in my eyes
I’d complain in correspondence
But I’ve got worse things on my mind
Read and find out why - the pain’s sending me blind!
Will you help me solve this riddle
The spring’s caught my pubic hair
My appendage may be little
Not enough, though, to be spared
Well I cry and shake it
My thing’s decayin’
This truss - can’t break it!
Well, I’m deep in slinky corkscrew
Of a folding chair surprise
And I cuss and swear aloud too
‘Cus it snapped shut ‘tween my thighs
Now I am getting all despondent
As I’ve seen ‘Boo-Boo’ misaligned
Because fortune’s seen my frank and beans entwined
It’s impossible to piddle
Now too late to breed an heir
Pride and Joy’s caught in the middle
Of this satanistic chair
Willie-cide it makes it,
I should start prayin',
It’s gonna break it…
Bob bob bobbit a bob bob bobbit
A bob bob bobbit a bob bob bobbit…