So I get this idea in my head; Let me do a St Patrick's Day drinking song, and let me actually get it done, today! Whew. I did it. ~Jesus Oldman

UNCLE CHARLEY Well, have you heard me Tell the tale of my Nefarious notorious Uncle Charley He's not a leprechaun But boy he looks like one Yeah he's a really ugly bastard And he's barely even four foot tall But he's built like a wall I've seen large men Have their asses handed to them by Uncle Charlie My Uncle Charley So I'm sitting at the pub one day There's Uncle Charlie and he's drinking away As many a man has witnessed He packs away the Guiness Like his stomach was a keg Or maybe he's pissing it out of his leg So then this little man With red hair and beard Began to speak to me What he said was weird I am your Uncle Charlie Although you never knew me Dad was half in the bag that day So I grabbed your mom and had my way So actually I am your dad But you can call me Uncle Charley Uncle Charley And yes I am a leprechaun And if you buy my Guiness I have the power to grant you three wishes And if I think your heart is pure And it is what you deserve I'll grant you anything 'Cause I'm the leprechaun named Uncle Charley Your Uncle Charley So we were drinking up a storm indeed He packed away the pints, but he never peed I never imagined he was able But he drank he under the table And then he grabbed my car keys I'd better drive---he said to me Well, I could barely walk So I couldn't really argue With Uncle Charley Uncle Charley And so this little leprechaun Is driving my Caddy I said, What did you mean When you said you're my Daddy? He told me Catch some winks Then he stopped for a drink He pulled right over and got right out I fell right over and passed right out Somehow he got my wallet And cleaned out everything in it... But still the bastard got me home So I was thankful to Uncle Charley My Uncle Charley Well, have you heard me tell the tale Of my nefarious notorious Uncle Charley? I don't remember much Just waking up hungover In my driveway, kissed the Blarney Now bill collectors are collecting The Mrs is expecting... I wish I'd never Wish I'd never Wish I'd never seen ....Uncle Charley? Who's Uncle Charley? Does anyone remember what I was talking about? Copyright 2019 ~ JESUS OLDMAN