Mr. Beauregard Why would I have high regard for wealthy Mr. Beauregard When Beauregard has no regard for me? He's famous for his gold cigar, his trophy wives, his credit card And narcissistic personality You know I built the Tower of Beauregard for free Because he stiffed me on the bill, then charged a fee It was the end of my career and I guarantee Mr. Beauregard has no regard for me But there he preened on all the screens and magazines His beauty queens would dance across his lap of luxury When a friendly country showered him with treasure and empowered him How could he call that friend an enemy? So when he sold the country out from under you When it was bad, and you were had, dead, done and through How come you never could admit that it was true Mr. Beauregard has no regard for you When he fled with all the money And the world economy Crashed and burned, I landed hard But I found a job as a prison guard And that’s what put me right back on my feet Because they sent him to my penitentiary He was all dressed up in bright orange finery Now we're just as close as two grown men can be And Mr. Beauregard works very hard for me