[4/4, brightly and a little manic] SELLING OFF BODY PARTS --J. Wrabek CHORUS: I’m selling off my body parts so I can pay the bills; They tell me I can’t land a job and prob’ly never will; My ears and eyes are both real nice, and I’ve barely used my brain— Use my parts to help jump-start this country once again. 1. My home is in foreclosure, they’re shutting off my lights, My teevee set’s been repossessed, and someone took my wife; I heard ‘em say on the news today we should all get by with less— So I’m keepin’ a couple parts of me, and sellin’ off the rest. CHORUS: I’m selling off my body parts so I can pay the bills; They tell me I can’t land a job and prob’ly never will; My ears and eyes are both real nice, and I’ve barely used my brain— Use my parts to help jump-start this country once again. 2. I’ll sell off one of my kidneys—the Good Lord gave me two— And I’ll get by without a heart—the bill collectors do; Both butt cheeks are real unique, my dimples are divine, And if anyone needs a helping hand—hey, check out one of mine! CHORUS: I’m selling off my body parts so I can pay the bills; They tell me I can’t land a job and prob’ly never will; My ears and eyes are both real nice, and I’ve barely used my brain— Use my parts to help jump-start this country once again. [GRATUITOUS INSTRUMENTAL BREAK] 3. When the I.R.S. wants their pound of flesh, I’ll send it right away, And when diesel costs an arm and a leg, I know just how I’ll pay; The President could use half a brain, I heard it on the news— I’d be pleased to sell him part of mine, if he’d put the thing to use. CHORUS: I’m selling off my body parts so I can pay the bills; They tell me I can’t land a job and prob’ly never will; My ears and eyes are both real nice, and I’ve barely used my brain— Use my parts to help jump-start this country once again. REPEAT LAST LINE OF CHORUS TO END ©2011 J. Wrabek dba Outside Services Ltd. All the usual rights reserved just in case. No one was harmed in the writing of this song because nothing’s been amputated yet.