I often joke that I am in the bar and restaurant business. In this song, I explain how I "got stranded far away from the music business" but "if I can lift up your spirit by carrying a tune, then I’m proud to be making a small contribution one song at a time."

I’ve practiced more scales than video games I learned the treble clef, counterpoint and their Italian names (I) thought I’d be famous by now, play the Hollywood Bowl But circumstances got beyond my control I’ve toured the shores of Patron, Stoli and Guinness And got stranded far away from the music business Although it’s never been my burning ambition I’m glad I ended up a bar musician So, chug this one down, get another round The more you drink, the better I sound If anybody here’s got an objection Take it up with… the bar musician! There are a million other places you could have gone So I really appreciate your choosing this one I’ll take care of your requests and your singalongs Whatever your mood, I’ll come up with a song No I’m not changing the world or chasing the moon But if I can lift up your spirit by carrying a tune Then I’m proud to be making a small contribution One song at a time from this bar musician So, chug this one down, get another round The more you drink, the better I sound Tomorrow you may be a little slow to function Blame it all on… the bar musician! (Spoken) All of us here got a job to do: I promise to do mine, you got to do yours, too And if you’ve got it to spare, drop a tip in my jar It’ll put food on my table and gas in my car So I can get to your cousin’s wedding or your neighbor’s backyard And back here next week at our favorite bar I know I’m a lucky son-of-a-gun to love what I do And I pray every day to God you keep loving it, too Because it’s thanks to you I’m in the perfect occupation Yes, I was born to be a bar musician So, chug this one down, get another round The more you drink, the better I sound If you get into trouble and need an explanation Say you got fooled by… the bar musician! (Spoken) Oh, yeah, you got fooled again, didn’t you? A word of advice from your musical physician: you don’t want to suffer from dehydration So, grab a bite and some alcohol and I’ll keep singing until Last Call Your Significant Other might disagree with that notion but you can trust me, I’m a professional bar musician So, chug this one down, get another round The more you drink, the better I sound Every engine needs a little lubrication So keep it flowing like… the bar musician! (Spoken) Yeah, keep the party going...