An emotional song from the look of diarys writtin not to be taken as a suggestion to solve ur problems ment to be looked at as what could happen... beat from shadowville ('when it all falls apart')
undergrond rapper
Lyrics
(Verse 1)
Dear diary I'm cryin' please popular I try 2 be
I'm changin' my ways cause me isnt the right kind it seems
I'm findin' the cool ones r findin' me 2 somethin'
I'm spillin my blue guts it's like I'm a huge nothin'
I'm invisable not ridiculed but still i feel like just a fool
Come notice me i openly just hopin' 2 b in this school
Can u wish for this and have it snap back at ya sure
Have'em all stand point and laugh and say "ha that rumor"
I'm just a gurl all I really wanted was some better times
Maybe gettin recignized this way was my destined life
I don't deserve this cant discribe what this kinda hurt is
Wakin up knowin' that I'm only feelin' my life is worthless
I try to brush it off hopin' somethin stops
But they love it lots god enough it's not
This is not what I plotted god I'm off now deffinate
This is not what I wanted so I'm gone now F this.
Dear Diary...
(Course)
Diary's we right in these to express r deepest thoughts
Hopin' when we open up the stess'll leave us all
Alltho not all of us'll have the hardest problems
Those that do our pens could always solve them
Select few can't the emotions r 2 much
Got a pen and went 2 write heart got opened and chewed up
Please don't make the same mistakes don't waste away
Hope 2 god u solve ur problems don't let it make ur day.
(Verse 2)
Dear diary I love my boyfriend so much
Last month I made a rule tho don't touch
He didn't like it tryed to fight it said please just say yes
Began 2 sweet talk I love the way u seem to dress
And how u take ur steps god ur skin is so soft
I love u so much gurl let us sin I know all
I said I'm not ready but he steadily progressed with me
Inches closer mentions know what it's so known that I'm the best u'll see
I said no stearnly he forced me to the bed
I wanted to scream but he cupped my mouth so i didn't
He held me down i tryed to struggle I couldn't move
Not how u'd invision a first time this is called abuse
The pain the threats the fear the anguish
The tears melest my spirit hates this
One word I'm dead missed my menstral eat for 2
Dear diary dear god I don't know what 2 do.
Dear Diary...
(Course)
(Verse 3)
Dear diary this bully keep pushin me around
Keeps tellin me there'll be hell each day unless i warship the ground
He walks on he talks hard tellin' me he's proud
That hes the biggest kid in school he's sayin' just move south
Constant remarks so often its nonsence
It started never stoped now so common a hardship
Word spread now everybody says shit what the hell's with it
Still gettin picked on whats this kids difference
It's like we're both the same but hes still got a problem
It's like my face need 2 go away if I'm ever gonna solve it
So I faked a sickness to get away from this dumb crap
Plan is stay away and never fuckin' come back
God all this stresses me heart stalls up blood festering
Found my dads revolver practice cocking and aim the thing
Now I'm goin 2 school tomorro see who adresses me
Now I'm plannin' to end this take a fuckin guess who leaves.
Dear Diary...
(Course)