No More Milk And Cookies
This year when you take presents
From underneath your tree
I hope you read the notes attached
For they all come from me
Let’s put Santa on a diet
I hope he doesn’t mind
Please no more milk and cookies
If you want to be kind
I’ve had to hire new lawyers
To settle every case
Of rooftops he has broken
And chimneys out of place
It’s veggie trays and Crystal Light
If put out treats you must--------{Chorus
Please no more milk and cookies
You’ll make his belly bust
The reindeer are too skinny
Their jobs are getting’ tough
So no more milk and cookies
He really weighs enough
Poor Rudolph’s’ nose is dimmin’
Though you won’t hear him moan
I’m sure at every homestead
He gives an inward groan
They had to leave Los Angeles
Just one stop did he make
For when they touched the sleigh down
It started an earthquake
It’s veggie trays and Crystal Light
If put out treats you must-------{Chorus
Please no more milk and cookies
You’ll make his belly bust
{Instr.Brk
The fabric bills are getting’ high
A new suit every year
When he gets home the seams are split
He doesn’t seem to care
A word for all you rednecks
With the pretzels, chips, and beer
If healthy snacks you put out
You’ll fill my house with cheer
And for you New Yorker’s
With your cheeses and your wine
Please hold ‘em till his suits fit
Then a friend you’ll be of mine
It’s veggie trays and Crystal Light
If put out treats you must---------{Chorus
Please no more milk and cookies
You’ll make his belly bust
Please no more milk and cookies
You’ll make his belly bust
Copyright 11/2003 John W. Selleck
Really like the lyric, very funny and well done.