My woman ran off with the UPS guy and left me with all these dishes!!
acoustic
singersongwriter
Creative Commons license
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Story behind the song
Wrote this just for fun on St. Patricks Day!
Lyrics
My woman ran off with the UPS guy and left me with all these dishes
Now I got mess piled four feet high while he’s getting all of her kisses
Well it all started out on Saint Patrick’s Day
At our annual Saint Paddy’s Day Bash
Our friends brought their neighbors and our neighbors brought their friends
And Aunt Margie brought the Heavenly Hash
I should have knowed something was bad when I saw my woman prancing around
‘Cause everybody else was wearing shamrock green but she was decked in UPS brown
Early next morning I woke up in a haze. The trailer smelt like cabbage and beer.
I distinctly heard the rumble of the UPS truck, the clatter of it’s grinding gears
I stumbled out of bed and rolled up the shade, and saw through my bloodshot eyes
My woman all packed and ready to roll, in the arms of the UPS guy
My woman ran off with the UPS guy and left me with all these dishes
Now I got mess piled four feet high while he’s getting all of her kisses
Just look at this mess……… I don’t even know where to start……… Duke, come here Duke …yeh, you start rinsing the ones on the floor…..is this the only apron we got? Ain’t we got no manly aprons? (CRASH) whoops….where does she keep the dang vacuum cleaner, Duke? Oh, somebody dint finish there Guinness….can’t let that go to waste…. Now I wish I’d bought her that dishwasher instead of that shotgun…No! don’t eat that, Duke!
I got kind of misty as they roared out of sight, so I took another sip of my beer
I took a deep breath and grabbed a brillo pad, used the apron to dry up my tear
I told myself there’s a lesson in this, as I hunkered down to clean up the mess
Next time I got a package to mail, you bet I’ll go with Federal Express
Cause my woman ran off with the UPS guy and left me with all these dishes
Now I got mess piled four feet high while he’s getting all of her kisses