A song I wrote right after signing up for the military; A time when I was at the end of my patience and I had very little money. For anyone who has ever wanted to be something and it just wouldn't come true.
Every night I pray till' the end
I'll be deceased underneath an American Flag as it waves in the wind/
Its been a constant saga
A constant tragedy
Of loss and casualties
And assaults and battery/
Gradually, If I felt that I'm believing a lie
I'd shoot my gun up till' angels bleed from the sky/
I don't need to supply a suicide notice
Even I would be suprised if I wrote it
Cause if I go its no goodbyes to this broken ride,
Rollercoaster that I know as life, If you're hungry for truth, then open wide/
Were in a hopeless time that why my dopest rhyme
Has melodies of meloncholy and mopish lines/
All I show is signs and then I hope that time
Will unwind and explain the pain of my broken mind/
Migranes cuz my brain's completely overloaded
I hold it all in and it multiplies cause no one knows it/
Frustration
I got no deal or no car
I'm at the bustation
Rapping for money with jars
I had enough patience
I wanna become a star
I had enough waitin
I was hungry but now I'm starved
Ayo, I'm just floatin'
Doing alot of finger crossin' and breath holdin'/
Sending my demo over and over and just hopin'
They would just open the pakage and and start bobbing their heads with an impressed motion/
And you don't need my chest open
To know that I got alotta "heart" invested in keeping this quest going/
I got nothing to lose, plus I got something to prove
To my wife and seed so we don't need to struggle for food/
I payed enough of my dues
My heels are bruised, I been walking this road so long theres blood in my shoes/
I've battled and battled and dismantled all of the competiton
Had em' bawling and crying like a infant that lost its kitten/
But listen I'm still nothing cause I haven't made it
And the ones that have are basic and basically highly exagerrated/
I wait for fate to come around
But of course I still call myself a corpse because I'm underground (with this)/
Frustration
I got no deal or no car
I'm at the bustation
Rapping for money with jars
I had enough patience
I wanna become a star
I had enough waitin
I was hungry but now I'm starved
(All I got) is a microphone and something thats like a home
Paper towels and old napkins are what I'm writing on/
I wish that the lights are on to see when I write that song "Deliver Me"
My pay gets cut more that cords in delivery/
I envy the suburbanites thats doing superb in life
They never heard the strife of bullets striking the curb at night/
I learned to fight the sounds but, I feel like I need sleep
I'm knee-deep in the heated secrets that these streets keep/
This pavement has tasted the sorrow of millions
Like Chronos because of the way that it swallowed its children/
I wander this awful provision with the hollowest feeling
That hope's lost in this gutter more than Waldo was hidden/
And all that I'm gettin is no where fast
I never tell anyone about the way that I'm feelin' (why?) Cause no one asks/
And now I've broke the glass in my mirror
Cause my future in rap is more frustratin' then my path as a sinner/
Frustration
I got no deal or no car
I'm at the bustation
Rapping for money with jars
I had enough patience
I wanna become a star
I had enough waitin
I was hungry but now I'm starved (x2)