Dedicated to all the many women who believe they are each the Costco Queen.
neilyoung
colorado
tom petty
reunion
todd lowther
john stewart
chuck pyle
kingston trio
class of65
golden high school
Story behind the song
NEWS: Costco Queen is part of a sketch on the Ellen DeGeneres Show, Sept. 14, 2005.
Lyrics
Costco Queen
She's driving to the store
She's got shoppin' on her mind, [yeah]
She'll buy quantities of edibles
In every shape and size
She's the wisest on the block
A shopper with no peer, [that's right]
She'll buy floss for your teeth
To last a thousand years
'Cause she's the Costco Queen
If you know what I mean
She's the Costco Queen
A real bargain machine
She bought a bigger house
Traded car for a bus
She's livin' for her motto:
In Costco I trust!
She claims to save in quantities
Says it's cheaper by the gross, yeah
It's a vicious competition
To see who saves the most
She'll buy pork chops and a hammock
And stuff to keep 'em clean, [that's right]
The latest Grisham novel
And twenty-five gallons of Listerine
She's the Costco Queen
And she's livin' her dream
Bargain hunter supreme
And you know who I mean
There's some pride in this endeavor
Some passion for her post, [yeah]
She plots in her Daytimer
How she can save the most
It's the place to take your kiddies
And just plop 'em in the carts, [careful]
And sample all the baked goods
While you buy those auto parts
'Cause she's the Costco Queen
If you know what I mean
She's the Costco Queen
A real bargain machine
Sometimes she shops at Target
Or Safeway if she must
But nothing gets her hotter
It's for Costco that she lusts
Instrumental
They're comin' through the doorway
Now they're comin' two by two, [watch it now]
Now they're comin' by the van load
Suburban multitudes
'Cause they're the Costco Queens
Wearin' Costco jeans
Buying washing machines
And 25 gallons of Listerine
I think I'll just stop by
For some batteries
That cake looks good
Can I have some, please?
A gallon jug of artichokes
Well, you know how much I'll save?
Metamucil for my uncle
And fourteen bottles of after shave
Todd Lowther, Catbox Music, 2003