The Keebler Elf Turns Me On
A Song About Spankin' The Monkey
punk
funky
comedy
losers
wigger
Creative Commons license
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Story behind the song
I wrote this song about choking the chicken
Lyrics
It's not the size of the boat it's the motion of the ocean
If you're alone by yourself don't forget to use lotion
Spank the monkey while your girlfriend's away,
Do it so much you'd prob'ly get guessed gay
Look around and have the door locked,
While you gratify yourself in a gym sock
If you do you're goin to hell,
But we all are so you might as well
Choke the chicken whack the weasel what you call it,
doesn't matter cause we're all sexaholics
At home in your room in a public place,
I can still work it if I don't see your face
Please forgive me for getting it on your sheets,
Atleast this time I missed your leather seats
Please don't bother me while I stroke it,
it won't bite you if you don't provoke it
I like to fondle myself,
Just like everybody else
I like to please myself,
I like to stroke it to the Keebler Elf
You're beatin that thing every single day,
Jackin off are now the only words you say
You bought oil instead of lube you got tricked,
Just admit it you're a sex addict
Acid and weed never gave you such a trip,
Lean yourhead back and bite your lip
Think about all those nasty things in your mind,
You know one day you'll go blind
Porno and lube are your best friend,
You'll spank that monkey til the very end
"Oh man, that's a picture of a goat"
I don't give a fuck I'll shove it down your throat
CHORUS
This is the part where you apologize,
For the lies about your size
Say what you want about pie in the sky,
That's where me and her 69
And now it's about time,
Where you clean up your love slime
A sticky nasty sock is all that's left,
Stealin porn doesn't count as theft
But I say there's such thing as karma,
After you had sex with a llama
Why are you makin such drama,
Did I mention you had sex with a llama
CHORUS
Keep On Jackin' Off
Spank that funky monkey
Bitch
Spank that funky monkey
Keep on Jackin' Off