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This song is about an internal struggle. The lyrics and deep and the beat fits the mood like a glove.
I'm a performer with a lot of spirit and religious background. I love my city and my friends and family. Much Clown luv to every Juggalo out there.
What you are about to hear is a work in progress. It's taken awhile because of the different things that I have had going on. There will be new tracks on here from time to time so let me know what you think. Over all, have patients... much patients...
Song Info
Genre
Hip-Hop • Hardcore Rap
Charts
Peak #1,832
Peak in subgenre #267
Author
Azrael/ DOE
Uploaded
February 22, 2005
Track Files
MP3
MP3 3.8 MB • 128 kbps • 0:00
Story behind the song
Well, everyone questions their existance at one point in their life. "Am I a good person? What would life be without me? Would anyone really miss me?" This was written during one of those moments in my life. I'm sure you'll be able to relate in one way or another...
Lyrics
Release Written by: Azrael VERSE 1: Hail Mary Full of grace I look up into the sky and I see a demons face And it’s shining down Leaving darkness all around Take a glance Just to see Bodies on the ground But that face is me Suffering with insanity Weakened by poverty Rejected eternally An outcast With the nightmares of my past Conforming to the chaos; just how long will this life last? Am I a demon? Am I mentally ill? Will I jump ten stories from a window sill? Why do I lie in bed With a pillow on my head, Praying I will suffocate so I will be dead? This anguish growing bigger My finger’s on the trigger Is the last face I see gonna be the grave digger? This life’s so confusing But death’s so amusing It only leads to nothing but drug and alcohol abusing I could end it all real quick I watch the burning wick Candle growing brighter press the blade the blood looks sick I feel the pulsing vain Envision all my pain And push the thought aside, release denied, huh, once again CHORUS: (repeat x2) How many times will I contemplate suicide? Where would the world be today if I had only died? Why do I try to be better then I really am Just to find that I honestly don’t give a damn? VERSE 2: God Father Lord above Please take away this hate replace it with Your Holy Love But that’s just impossible I try as hard as I may My brains a neural gateway that I loath, never giving leeway If I try to end it all Will I stand or will I fall? I hear the voices call They slither and they crawl In the back of my mind Death would be so kind Instead I lay and rot Alone here on this cot Dark is all I hear As I strain a deafened ear In a world lost, torn With insanity to fear But should I be afraid of the things I want the most These voices, like a virus, self consuming all the host Soon I’ll be no more Insanity’s at the door That which is my mind and my pain is my core The end will be release Beginning of my peace Spirit floating high above the houses and the streets CHORUS: (repeat x2) Lord Jesus Immaculate Son What is the meaning to this life? Am I the only one? No, that can’t be There’s a million just like me Who feel the pain and curse in vain into eternity We suffer in our silence In this world full of violence Tragic acts of homicidal murder due to malice To put up with this nonsense still remains a mystery When you could stop the flow of life and vanish to infinity Listen to the protests of these peasants seems unreal Live a day inside these shoes and know just how I feel I’m told by many people what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger I’d rather die remaining weak to live with this no longer I want to end this life Full of pain and strife The sun is gleaming brightly off the blade of my knife But I change it all today I put this pain at bay and say “FUCK THEM! I’m living life my way.” CHORUS: (repeat x2) … I contemplate suicide…
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