This song is from The Vicarius EP, released on Dec 18, 2019...It is a story of a girl I know who unfortunately has never met her father.
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Story behind the song
This song is from The Vicarius EP, released on Dec 18, 2019...It is a story of a girl I know who unfortunately has never met her father. She was led to believe another man was her father when he wasn't and although the person she believed was her dad was an awful person, at least he was around. She watched her mother get beaten and she was repeatedly taken on trips as a kid to buy drugs and rob people. She was informed 1 day by a friend that the man she believed to be her dad, was not. The entire scenario broke her heart and made her wonder for her entire life how/why someone could just leave her and not care for or about her. She was given information on who her real dad was later in life and reached out to him, but he was unresponsive. I admire her strength and how she has somehow managed to turn these terrible experiences into a way to grow and be even better for her children.
Lyrics
Verse 1: (J-Formz)
Shit, if I was my dad, I'd be pretty damn proud...But he forfeited that cause he was never around...I got kids of my own, shit makes me wonder how...You don't wonder about what your daughter is doin now...Ain't believe my mother when she gave you the news? And though I understand why, it's still a poor excuse...Accepted by everyone except the person who made me...Never met you, but miss you, you think about it, it's crazy...I could be just like you and I would never have a clue...Brought me here, but don't care about the shit that I've been through? Like would you even give a fuck at all...If I told you every story about all the blood stains on the wall? Broken glass on the floor from throwin mom right through? You turn your back in every way, don't wanna hear my truths...I even tried to reach out, you wouldn't accept proof...Everyone knew I was yours, everyone except you...But it's cool...
Verse 2: (J-Formz)
You know, it's kind of ironic because you work in corrections...And left me with somebody who's steadily gettin arrested...I had a "great" childhood, no thanks to you...Tell you what me and my new dad just love to do...He takes me on trips, "where we goin tonight?" Just to kick a door down and rob someone with a knife...I'm just a little girl who wants a dad to love...But he brings me with him to the projects to get drugs...No license, with a 5 year old girl, just rollin...But I guess it don't matter when the car is stolen... At least I fit in in class, I felt so helpless...When I realized he wasn't like anyone elses...You left me with bad people to see me through...But I guess they did more than I can say about you...And you ain't got no care in the world...Shit, you might have 99 problems, but not your little girl...And it hurts...
Verse 3: (J-Formz)
You know, as I started gettin older, kids would laugh behind my back...Like I was alone not knowin you wasn't my dad...I'm supposed to be havin the time of my life...Til somebody broke my little heart in 2 with the truth 1 night..."You know he ain't your dad, right?" I'm like "of course I do"...But if my skin was see through, I'd look hurt and confused...The collateral damage honestly almost ruined me...There's gotta be a reason why you want nothing to do with me...Why do you not love me? How do you not care? What the fuck are you like? Why are you not there? If he can't love me, how can someone else? You made it difficult for me to even love myself...But oh, I've grown so much, this hardship is my gift...See it's a terrible story with such a beautiful twist...You were the storm, and I'm the rainbow at the finish...So I'mma go ahead and thank you for your bad decisions...Cause see, I've grown...