The Legend of Bicycle Guy
Music written and performed by Pink for President. Lyrics written by Zach Amory, Dallas Welk, and Alex Tjoland. Jesus played by Alex Tjoland. Additional back-up vocals by Jack Binkerd. Mixed and mastered by Zach Amory. Recorded at Awfulwawful Studios
An alternative rock and comedy band from Troy, Alabama, Pink for President consists of Zach Amory (vocals/guitar), Dallas Welk (guitar), Chris Watkins (bass), a
Lyrics
Bi-cy-cle. Bikes are cool. Everybody's riding their bikes to school.
Bi-cy-cle. Bikes are cool. Everybody's riding their bikes to school.
Bi-cy-cle. Bikes are cool. Everybody's riding their bikes to school.
Bi-cy-cle. Bikes are cool. (Everybody's riding their bikes to school.)
As I ride through the streets of the shadow of death, I feel the wheels rolling under me and savor my every breath, 'cause I never know when I'm taking my last. I'm riding on my bicycle, and I'm going really fast.
Every turn of the pedal brings me closer to The Devil. I meddle in his scandals while I'm grippin' my handles. You can't handle this mess. I only ride with the best. I got my homie on the pegs, and he's grippin' my breasts.
Everybody's ridin' like their fuckin' Poseidon on the water, when it's really just the skreet. And everybody's cruisin' like there's nothin' to lose, 'cause all my brothahs and my sistahs, we ride until the end of time.
Bi-cy-cle. Bikes are cool. Everybody's riding their bikes to school.
Bi-cy-cle. Bikes are cool. Everybody's riding their bikes to school.
Bi-cy-cle. Bikes are cool. Everybody's riding their bikes to school.
Bi-cy-cle. Bikes are cool. Everybody's riding their bikes to school.
Now did I tell you 'bout the time I rode my bike into space? I killed like forty billion aliens and saved the human race. I put it in third gear, and punishment was severe. I found the alien king and did a wheelie on his face.
I rigged a bomb to the space ship. It was a makeshift. "How did I make it?" No time for explanations! I was ready to get back to the pavement, but then the bomb prematurely detonated.
I was sent swirling out of control, losing all sense of reality inside of a black hole. I closed my eyes and embraced the end, but then a bright light appeared. I felt the warmth on my skin; It was...
Jesus, and he said...
"Hey, that's a really nice bike you got there, Son."
"Thanks."
"May I take it for a spin?"
"Mmmm, no."
"Alright.... Well, it seems your time is not yet done. There are battles to be won. May I ring your little bell?"
"I don't think so."
"Fine.... You know, I could kill you with my mind, but I won't, because I'm nice."
"....Okay?"
"G-G-GET OUT OF HERE!"
Everyone's alive, thanks to the Bicycle Guy. He killed the aliens and saved Jesus Christ.
"Wait, what?"
"Yeah, that's what happened."
Stay tuned for the sequel, where he conquers the evil of the Android Nazi Bicycle Squad. Yeah-yeaaoow!
Bi-cy-cle. Bikes are cool. Everybody's riding their bikes to school.
Bi-cy-cle. Bikes are cool. Everybody's riding their bikes to school.
Bi-cy-cle. Bikes are cool. Everybody's riding their bikes to school.
Bi-cy-cle. Bikes are cool. Everybody's riding their bikes to school.
Yeah!
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