Lyrics
I'm sitting on the back porch, waiting for you
I drank enough bum juice to kill off my Christmas blues
You sent me a card showing off how happy you are,
But you're a retard, and I'm like Captain Picard
I'm gonna go way beyond the stars
I'm huffing paint for Christmas, I got two mattresses
And two spray cans that I picked up in the home improvement department
I'm huffing paint for Christmas, gonna go way beyond the stars
Pressed so hard between that sweet, soft, sticky, silver lack of oxygen
And if I happen to wake up, well that won't be so bad
I got two backup spray cans on the far side of my beds
And if my mood changes, oh, well, I'm prepared for that
Stashed in my garage I got some good ol' fashioned green and red
I'm huffing paint for Christmas, I got two mattresses
And two spray cans that I picked up in the home improvement department
I'm huffing paint for Christmas, gonna go way beyond the stars
I'm huffing paint for Christmas, just like Captain Jean Luc Picard
I'm huffing paint for Christmas, you know there aint nothing wrong with that
Cuz if huffing paint doesn't do the trick,
I'm gonna bash my brains in with a baseball bat
I'm huffing paint for Christmas, I'm huffing paint for Christmas
I'm huffing paint for Christmas, and I'm killing off the caroling Christians
You sent me a card showing off how happy you are,
But you're a retard, and I'm like Captain Picard
I'm gonna go way beyond the stars
Huffing paint for Christmas