mr cork
ADVISORY! PLEASE READ THIS NOW!!!! MR. CORK'S TOTALLY OFF THE WALL WHACKED OUT CHRISTMAS SONGS WILL NOT PAY DRY CLEANING BILLS FOR ANY PERSON OR PERSONS WHO LO
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ROLL ME A BIG ASS JOINT FOR CHRISTMAS ROLL ME A BIG ASS JOINT FOR CHRISTMAS
THAT WILD AND CRAZY PARTY SONG THAT WILL HAVE YOU BREATHING REALLY DEEP AND SMILIN'!
DIARRHEA ON CHRISTMAS DAY DIARRHEA ON CHRISTMAS DAY
WHAT MY DISFUNCTIONAL FAMILY EXPERIENCES EVERY CHRISTMAS EATING AT GRANDMAS HOUSE.
THE SQUIRRELS GO BESERK AT CHRISTMAS THE SQUIRRELS GO BESERK AT CHRISTMAS
THOSE CRAZY SQUIRRELS....
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"Mr. Cork's" songs are now available for individual purchase by digital download by clicking on the "Mr. Cork" website icon on this page...Mr. Cork is also available at Napster..Musicmatch or your favorite site...just type in mr cork in the sites search engine..Thanks for your support -Mr. Cork
WELCOME TO MR. CORK'S TOTALLY OFF THE WALL WHACKED
OUT CHRISTMAS SONGS! EVERY SONG WAS TESTED BY LETTING MY WIFE LISTEN TO EACH AND EVERY SONG. IF SHE DIDN'T LIKE IT...I ENDED UP SLEEPING ON THE COUCH FOR A WEEK AND IT ENDED UP ON THE CD. I GOT NAILED ONCE AND THAT'S NOT BAD WHEN YOU CONSIDER THE ALBUM HAS 10..COUNT THEM...10..FUNNY
SONGS! ANYWAYS...I LAUGHED OUT LOUD AT THEM A FEW TIMES AND I MADE THE MISTAKE OF LETTING MY TEENAGE DAUGHTER LISTEN TO THEM LATE ONE NIGHT...SHE HAD HEADPHONES ON AND ALL YOU COULD HEAR WERE BURSTS OF UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER. MY WIFE WOKE UP AND I HIGHTAILED IT OUT THE FRONT DOOR. I SOON REALIZED I ONLY HAD A BATHROBE ON AS I HAD JUST GOTTEN OUT OF THE SHOWER. I HAD NO KEYS WITH ME AND OF COURSE THE DOOR LOCKED RIGHT BEHIND ME. I SNUCK OVER TO MY DAUGHTERS WINDOW AND LIGHTLY TAPPED BUT SHE HAD THE HEADPHONES ON AND COULDN'T HEAR ME. IT WAS FREEZING OUTSIDE AND MY BARE FEET WERE STICKING TO THE FROZEN GROUND. I WAS TRYING TO GET MY DAUGHTERS ATTENTION FOR 10 MINUTES WHEN I WAS APPROACHED BY TWO ARMED POLICE. THEY THOUGHT I WAS A FLASHER AND I FINALLY CONVINCED THEM OF WHAT HAPPENED. I RANG THE DOORBELL PRAYING MY DAUGHTER WOULD ANSWER. THE DOOR OPENED AND IT WAS MY WIFE...SHE SAID SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHO I WAS BUT THE BATHROBE BELONGED TO HER AND SHE WAS WONDERING WHERE IT WAS....THE POLICE LAUGHED AND TOLD ME TO TAKE IT OFF AND GIVE IT BACK...AFTER THEY ALL HAD A LAUGH AT MY EXPENSE I FOUND OUT ONE OF THE NEIGHBORS REPORTED SEEING A PEEPING TOM..."GEE",I SAID,"THIS NEIGHBORHOODS CHANGING,WE BETTER KEEP OUR SHADES SHUT THEN" I TOLD THE POLICE...THEY WENT AWAY HOWLING..WHERE WAS I...OH YEAH..ANYWAYS,MY
DAUGHTER LOVED IT AND SO DID HER FRIENDS...YOU SEE HOW I EXTENSIVLEY TESTED THIS THING BEFORE I PUT IT ON THE MARKET? IT'S EVEN ANIMAL TESTED!! MY SIBERIAN HUSKEY WHO IS A BEAUTIFUL DOG BUT DUMBER THAN A ROCK ACTUALLY WENT UP TO THE STEREO SPEAKER AND COCKED HER HEAD WONDERING HOW I GOT IN THERE. I SMILED UNTILL I LEARNED HER CHEW BONE WAS BEHIND THE SPEAKER AND SHE KNOCKED IT OVER TO GET IT. I SHOULD OF KNOWN...SHE NEVER COMES WHEN I CALL HER ANYWAYS...NEITHER DOSE MY WIFE BUT I WON'T GO THERE..WHERE WAS I?...OH YEAH...LISTEN TO THE SONGS AND BUY A COPY OR TWO FOR FRIENDS AND FAMILY. YOU CAN PURCHASE THIS C.D. AT WWW.CDBABY.COM/MRCORK2 WHEN YOU GET OVER TO THAT SITE READ THE TRUE HILARIOUS CHRISTMAS DISASTER THAT HAPPENED TO ME ON CHRISTMAS DAY 2003.. THANKS...MR. CORKBand/artist history
NO BAND, I DO IT ALL MYSELF. VOCALS, INSTRUMENTS AND CRAZY TEMPER TANTRUMS THAT PISS OFF MY ALTERNATE EGOS UNTILL THEY COMPLAIN AND REFUSE TO WORK WITH ME AGAIN. THEY COME BACK....THEY ALWAYS DO! SERIOUSLY, IT STARTED IN 1990...MAY TO BE EXACT...I PURCHASED MY FIRST KEYBOARD AND DRUM MACHINE AND $40,OOO DOLLARS WORTH OF UPGRADES. I HAD MONEY IN MY POCKETS SO YOU KNOW I WASN'T MARRIED. THE SONG "MR. CORK'S CHRISTMAS STROLL" WAS THE FIRST COMEDY CHRISTMAS SONG IN 1990 AND MY SECOND COMEDY SONG WAS "DIARRHEA ON CHRISTMAS DAY" RECORDED IN JANUARY 2003. IT WAS WRITTEN ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS EVERY CHRISTMAS AT MY MOTHER-N-LAWS HOUSE AFTER CHRISTMAS DINNER. COMPLETELY TRUE AND I'M SIURE HALF AMERICA CAN RELATE. IN BETWEEN THAT TIME I WAS DOING SERIOUS STUFF.Have you performed in front of an audience?I DON'T PLAY LIVE BUT I DO PLAY DEAD ESPECIALLY WHEN IT'S MY TURN TO WASH THE DISHES.
Your musical influences
JACK DANIELS!What equipment do you use?
BESIDES A CHAIN SAW?
I LOVE REEL TO REEL AND HAVE A TASCAM TSR-8 FROM THE EARLY 90'S. I MIX TO DIGITAL. THERE'S SOMETHING ROMANTIC ABOUT WATCHING THOSE REELS TURN KNOWING THEY ARE FAITFULLY CAPTURING YOUR GREATEST EFFORT. I'M STARTING TO CHOKE UP...DON'T LET ME KEEP GOING.....SNIFF SNIFF..HANKIE PLEASE!Anything else?
YEAH, YOU TOOK SO LONG TO INTERVIEW ME I'M ABOUT TO LAUGH HYSTERICALLY CAUSE THE WHOLE TIME I WAS WATCHING A GANG OF THUGS STEAL THE HUB CAPS OFF YOUR BMW AND PEE IN YOUR FRONT SEAT.
BUY MY CD'S AT WWW.CDBABY.COM/MRCORK2 AND KNOW THAT ALL PROCEEDS WILL GO TOWARD RAISING THE BOUNTY ON THE REWARD FOR BRINGING MY MOTHER-N-LAW TO JUSTICE!!
bellwood,
USA
ID
118662
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Comments (4)
It is alomost that time of the year.. don't bother shopping fo me after Thanksgiving... you can just roll me 1!!!
I am spending the day listening to my station and I love when any song of yours comes up. I gave you a HOT VOTE and stopped by to say keep it up!
awesome ...Roll me a joint for christmas!
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