Marcus Anthony
 
  :: Marcus Anthony is a member since 03/02/2009 --- this profile has been viewed 12,276 times
Marcus Anthony's SoundClick blog - A Defining Moment
What is freedom without restraint? The ability to accomplish so so much and deny myself everything I want. The true question is...do I want it. Best for me but unaccommodating to my lifestyle. So systematic and cold. A picture frame with no warmth, no pride, no want. Why do I toil to disown my own achievement? Because it is not my want, nor my drive. My throttle is the pen with which these letters form from my blackened blood. So much to say and so few words to put the pedal to the floor. Now down on my luck, and I have arms to run to, but shall I cry...ALMOST! as I lay in darkness wondering what do I change? What new routine do I create? For the old is destroyed among its convoluted excuses for failure. I am the excuse. DAMN! I know all to well that self-realization is hard, but for the first time in my life...I am blinded by a defining moment on the horizon. The light is too bright; approaching me in complete mystery. No signs, no warning...only arrival. A message that now is the time. What I should have realized. I am my own worst enemy and my own best friend. Demeaning and participating in what I consider sin. So what saint am I to excel? Blind; I shall wait for that answer.
posted by Marcus Anthony on Mon Mar 2, 2009 @ 03:30 AM     post a comment
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Evidence taken. Thoughts expected. None received. Words end at the heart's departure and disregards arrival. Sex. A process. A creation. Divine at times, shattered dreams for me. I don't remember...where it was I lost my way, and still I find my way to you. Now, I ask myself is that good or bad, right or wrong, glorified or demonized. I would if I could, but the strength escapes me like the words have suddenly to you. There is no message. There is no commitment. No decisions in the night. Drowned doubts in confident waters filled with memories and blessings. Now I'm the one drowning. Will I ever wake up from that lonely slumber to only find that it hasn't ended? Am I playing the scenarios in my mind as this process is happening, giving me the strength to awake from my coma to stop this life. If only it were true, that I could forget for I can't forgive. For I can't function, in lies of darkness. If only you were truthful.
posted by Marcus Anthony on Mon Mar 2, 2009 @ 03:29 AM     post a comment
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Somebody's face is on the floor and it ain't mine...but I'll let you think it is. Yep, you just got dropped and you think you did the dropping. No, No, No...I'm a mastermind of convoluted words, meanings, ideas, and control. That's right...I controlled your every move and made you do what I wanted you to. So what are you going to do about it?....Oops I forgot you don't know....Damn, I wish I could tell you but I never actually saved your number in my phone like you did mine...soooo YEAH....ANYWAY...I hope you understand...You never 'peaked' my interest. Just something about you that didn't sit right with my soul...or my dick. Yea, I said it and I don't give a damn. What are you going to do or going to say. Hmmm, I'm arguing with myself and it feels good. Relieving the truth...I might hunt you down just to let you know. So you said you're leaving and 10 minutes later I got your text. "We're not going to work," is what you said. Hmmm but let me think...was it me keeping quiet when there were questions you wanted to ask? Was it me saying no when you tried to push up on me? OOOOOO, was it when I decided that I rather have a long phone conversation with a friend rather than talk to you when you were in my face? HAHAHA I'm priceless. Don't you see, it was me that decided for you. When you wake in the morning and decide not to text me....LIKE YOU BEEN DOING....I'll be happy, so will you. Then you'll think...Damn, I had something real and I let it go. You'll comeback and I'll say...NO HO...I LET YOU GO! NOW DEAL WITH THE HEARTBREAK
posted by Marcus Anthony on Mon Mar 2, 2009 @ 03:28 AM     post a comment
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...And still the pain exists. Thought I let go of you when you said you were through. Thought I could live with you as just a friend.Thought many things about me and you, but all have proven to wrong. I accepted the fact that you'd love someone else, knowing all along you couldn't help but love me. But when it comes down to it, to know you're not with me hurts the most. Cause I was the solution to your problem and the answer to your question, that is clear as day for anyone to see but if this were a test, I'd have to give you an X cause you were wrong more than once before. I'm bleeding inside cause my heart just burst knowing another was the one o so close. Whats insane is that I feel this way and I know you're not the one to blame. Its me and my damn foolish heart for letting you in and refusing to let go. It was my fault cause you said that you'd let him be there and let me just stand here. Like I'm supposed to deal with the all of a sudden emotions flaring inside, when the true question arises...Why the f*** do I love you? That I cannot explain. You don't have to say a thing. I already know. You love me, but tomorrow you won't. Then you're feelings will come back and leave again telling you that you can have whoever you want. Why the f*** do I love you? O how I wish I could say I don't but these tears here would prove me wrong. Nothing you bring into my life is positive but the downhill slope is so fun. Misguided by you, I must move on, and I've known this. Damn, how I've known, but there's this feeling that like a sentence we'll run-on.

Why the f*** do I love you? To be honest, I don't know, but this is step 1 of letting go.
posted by Marcus Anthony on Mon Mar 2, 2009 @ 03:28 AM     post a comment
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Verse 1:
There's no excuse, for me loving you
all I know is I'm stuck, on you
thinking I let go, of the feelings I had
but I see in you, the truth

I can't stand to look into your eyes
cause your smile makes me glow
so head down I contradict my heart
you know my love is never far

Chorus:
Am I in love with you?
knowing what I'm getting into
better yet who loves who?
I know you do, I know, you, do

In love with your essence
I don't want anything else
cause I'd give my life for you
but will you?

Verse 2:
How do you fall in love?
If you've never fallen out
and how do I long for you
If you always know I do

Just think, in the back of your mind
the days we were replay themselves
and I know you wonder about them
I know I do, what if they were different

Chorus:
Am I in love with you?
knowing what I'm getting into
better yet who loves who?
I know you do, I know, you, do

In love with your essence
I don't want anything else
cause I'd give my life for you
but will you?

Bridge:
Ooh ooh...
reach deep inside and feel the strength
ooo...
listen to my heart, crying for you

I've tried to sleep at night
but thoughts of you never go away
what questions do I ask?
there is no way to approach you

deny yourself, what is you
tell yourself its wrong when its right
a natural chemistry, you can't lie
If it were me, I'd change your life

Verse 3:
If I could, I would forget you
but my heart is where you live
and it seems I try to runaway
but continue to stay...stay...
STAY...

Chorus:
Am I in love with you?
knowing what I'm getting into
better yet who loves who?
I know you do, I know, you, do

In love with your essence
I don't want anything else
cause I'd give my life for you
but will you?
posted by Marcus Anthony on Mon Mar 2, 2009 @ 03:19 AM     post a comment
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Verse 1:
The winds are blowing
and I can barely stand em
tearing down this foundation
everything we built

and just wen I think
that I have...nowhere to go

your love comforts me
you stay here fight with me

Bridge:
for me
for my hand
for our love, won't you stand
and fight for us

Verse 2:
the clouds are rollin' in
your hands just warm enough

to keep me safe
to keep me from the cold, cold
world...
and your love
you won't ever take away
purposely...
Don't care for my need
won't you stand and...

Chorus:
...fight for us
give this all...your might
and don't let nothing break us down...
...won't you fight for us
fight for me, fight for we
all this time we've spent
won't you hold on tight...
...and fight for us

Verse 3:
I know how you feel
wanting to give up
so many times...
and then you're afraid
of love's consequences

but that's the risk you take
a chance that a heart you'll break

but I'm giving you the chance
if you stand and fight for this

Bridge:
the struggle won't be easy
and the road won't be smooth
love won't come calling
we have to find our own groove

Chorus:
...fight for us
give this all...your might
and don't let nothing break us down...
...won't you fight for us
fight for me, fight for we
all this time we've spent
won't you hold on tight...
...and fight for us

Hook:
more I think about it
our battles only begun
and we swing and fight
cause nothings ever too tough
to fight for love
and save what's left
to fight for love or fantasy
a dream we know it true

Chorus:
...fight for us
give this all...your might
and don't let nothing break us down...
...won't you fight for us
fight for me, fight for we
all this time we've spent
won't you hold on tight...
...and fight for us
posted by Marcus Anthony on Mon Mar 2, 2009 @ 03:18 AM     post a comment
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Verse 1:
I remember how sweet you were to start
You always said what I needed to hear
I never knew love before you came along
girl, you taught me so many things

what the joys of love could bring
and you always told me

Chorus:
I love you...
that's what you said to start
I love you...
the same words, you said today

don't say...
what you don't mean
don't say...
I'm your baby, If you'll treat me this way

I love you...
those are the same words
that you always say
but they don't mean a thing, baby...

Verse 2:
somewhere along the lines of me and you
there are rules you just couldn't obey
you said you'd be the one who wouldn't lie
but girl, what have you done?

it doesn't matter how much I say I love you
cause you don't mean it when you say...

Chorus:
I love you...
that's what you said to start
I love you...
the same words, you said today

don't say...
what you don't mean
don't say...
I'm your baby, If you'll treat me this way

I love you...
those are the same words
that you always say
but they don't mean a thing, baby...

Hook:
I use to depend on you
I use believe in you
now you give me no reason to
I use to think I needed you

I use to think I found love in you
but that's what I used to do

Chorus:
I love you...
that's what you said to start
I love you...
the same words, you said today

don't say...
what you don't mean
don't say...
I'm your baby, If you'll treat me this way

I love you...
those are the same words
that you always say
but they don't mean a thing, baby...
posted by Marcus Anthony on Mon Mar 2, 2009 @ 03:18 AM     post a comment
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Verse 1:
Have you ever, imagined, what life would be like
If the night, came, but I never returned home
worried to death that the angels, had intervened
and my worst fears, are realized, when the phone rings

I'm alone, now that you're gone
and that never seems to end
How to move on, on my own
when I depended on you to get me through

Chorus:
I don't want wanna go through this again
been down this road before, and I know where it ends
so if you wanna change our destiny
you've got to do away with the way that you love me
Ohhhh oh, ohhh oh
you've got to change the way that you love me...oh

Verse 2:
Now what if, the roles, were reversed
and you, were the one, crying in the moonlight
I was just out with my friends
and thats when the telephone rings, Ooo oh

What do you do, now that I'm gone
you know I loved you more than anything
and I let my heart, take a backseat
to the life I wanted to lead

Chorus:
I don't want wanna go through this again
been down this road before, and I know where it ends
so if you wanna change our destiny
you've got to do away with the way that you love me
Ohhhh oh, ohhh oh
you've got to change the way that you love me

Bridge:
If you know how I feel
then why won't you change
its like you're trying to lose me
when I'm giving my all
now heed my warning
you're making a mistake
cause if you love me
I'd never have to feel this way

Chorus:
I don't want wanna go through this again
been down this road before, and I know where it ends
so if you wanna change our destiny
you've got to do away with the way that you love me
Ohhhh oh, ohhh oh
you've got to change the way that you love me

Out:
[adlib]
[adlib]
[adlib]
[adlib]
posted by Marcus Anthony on Mon Mar 2, 2009 @ 03:16 AM     1 comment    post a comment
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In:
Oh yea...
oh yea...
oh love...
oh, ohh, oh

Verse 1:
Love's been a vice, all my life
something I've wished for, and regret whole heartedly
but you smile, you smile at me
and I learn what love means, what it means

we've all cried, we've all prayed
my prayers have finally come true
I was searching for, something I didn't know
but the meaning of love is...

Chorus:
I can't stop this fallin' and wouldn't if I could
I'd never take this leap if the clouds couldn't break my fall, yea
This is real...Ohhhh everyday I'm falling For you over and over again
over and over everyday I'm fallin' for you again

Verse 2:
now to find someone faithful and loving is hard
problem is, tears have no reservations for any soul
but you kiss me, and the world goes away
and I learn the meaning of love again and again

we've all cried, we've all prayed
my prayers have finally come true
I was searching for, something I didn't know
but the meaning of love is...

Chorus:
I can't stop this fallin' and wouldn't if I could
I'd never take this leap if the clouds couldn't break my fall, yea
This is real...Ohhhh everyday I'm falling For you over and over again
over and over everyday I'm fallin' for you again

Bridge:
your lips, and your heart
the faith you put into me
your trust, love's truth
is all I want and you give it

without your love, what would I do
ever I see your face, love begins anew
and I find, the meaning of love
the meaning of love is you...

Chorus:
I can't stop this fallin' and wouldn't if I could
I'd never take this leap if the clouds couldn't break my fall, yea
This is real...Ohhhh everyday I'm falling For you over and over again
over and over everyday I'm fallin' for you again

Out:
Oh the meaning of love is you
its in you, its been you all along
I've been looking for
the meaning of love is you
posted by Marcus Anthony on Mon Mar 2, 2009 @ 03:15 AM     post a comment
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In/Chorus:
Head's on my pillow, but my eyes won't close
I can't sleep cause you're gone
without you this is no home
so I'll be waiting for you to close the door

my smile won't hide behind the sheets
knowing you're on your way upstairs to me
crawl into bed, won't you hold onto me
maybe then I'll fall asleep

Verse 1:
I don't worry, why should I?
I know you love me, I'm all you've got
its just when you're gone
my heart feels so alone

you're my, best friend, you're my, lover
you, love me, like, no other
you're my life, you're my song
I was lost, until you came along...

Oh, ohh, oh
oh, ohh, oh
oh, ohh, oh
I was lost until you came along...

Chorus:
head's on my pillow, but my eyes won't close
I can't sleep cause you're gone
without you this is no home
so I'll be waiting for you to close the door

my smile won't hide behind the sheets
knowing you're on your way upstairs to me
crawl into bed, hold onto me
maybe then I'll fall asleep

Verse 2:
This world is so serious, but you make me laugh
I can't stop smiling sometimes cause of the jokes you tell
time and time again, you prove why you're here
the funny thing is, you never had to

you're my best friend, you're my lover
you love me like no other
you're my life, you're my song
I was lost until you came along

Oh, ohh, oh
oh, ohh, oh
oh, ohh, oh
I was lost until you came along...

Chorus:
head's on my pillow, but my eyes won't close
I can't sleep cause you're gone
without you this is no home
so I'll be waiting for you to close the door

my smile won't hide behind the sheets
knowing you're on your way upstairs to me
crawl into bed, hold onto me
maybe then I'll fall asleep

Bridge:
I'm waiting...just waiting...
listening for the front door to open
I'm waiting...just waiting...
Ohhhh oh and there it goes...

Out:
you're my best friend, you're my lover
you love me like no other
you're my life, you're my song
I was lost until you came along

Oh, ohh, oh
oh, ohh, oh
I was lost until you came along...
oh, ohh, oh
crawl into bed, hold onto me
maybe then...I'll fall asleep
posted by Marcus Anthony on Mon Mar 2, 2009 @ 03:15 AM     post a comment
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Eyes are heavy, heart is full
only god can console...me...
I feel the tears, their coming
but I won't let you dampen my soul

O no...I hate this part
love's twisted grip on us
barbed wired heart, arms are bleeding
trying to hold you my love

tears flow, as you show emotion
but its you who's hiding within
and no one...no one...
can guarantee a thing...

I leave my heart with you
cause I love you, I love you
no one can if my kiss... can't

I'm trying to hold you, my love
posted by Marcus Anthony on Mon Mar 2, 2009 @ 03:14 AM     post a comment
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