Marketing progress report
Mar 6, 2007
In an effort to promote the band, I took it upon myself to roll up my sleeves and do some serious promotion leg work. (Okay, so technically I rolled up my cuffs, so sue me.) Which means, in essence, I googled the band name to see where we rank. I mean, what else can one do to get noticed on the 'net anymore, anyway? Anyhow, I didn't know google could come up with a negative number for the hit count. Boy, is the Jay Smurch Group unknown or what? Maybe that should be our slogan. The best band you never heard of. Actually, the best band google never heard of would be more like it. Which reminds me: Did you ever notice how people refer to google like it's some tv show? As in, I saw it on google (instead of Oprah). Maybe google IS the new Orprah. Or is Oprah the old google. Or is Oprah the old google made anew in the image of the old Orprah as protrayed by the new google which is really the old....Uh, where was I? Okay, enough band promotion work for today. I'm pooped.
Our policy on comments
Feb 27, 2007
Messalina [guitar and cyberflote] says ("sez") we should have an official policy on comments to our music. Sort of like a mission statement, except no mission is implied and the only statements we ever see are from our bank and they ain't pretty (unless you're, like, into red ink). So, maybe NOT so much like a mission statement and more like a "corporate policy memo". Doesn't THAT sound professional. "Jay Smurch Group stock price takes off. Film at eleven."
Anyway, here it is. (Remember, now, we're talking about our policy on comments.) We welcome all legitimate comments on our music, with one caveat: That you run said comments through a spell checker first, until they are completely and irretrievably a) correctly spelled, b) grammatically correct according to Hoyle, c) at a 12th grade reading level (or less), d) conforming to the rules of usage as set forth by the University of Chicago manual of style, and finally e) we meant at a 12th grade reading level (or BETTER) [italics mine]. "Caveat," by the way, is latin for "cravat".
Simply put, succintly stated. Any questions?....Yes, you in the back row?.....Yes, the revised 1996 edition of "Manual of Style." Anyone else?.....No?....Good, let's break for lunch.
Oh, Renaldo [keyboards and zither] sez ("says") that I should say that all comments will be greatly depreciated. Uh, I think that's an accounting joke, a pun on the word "appreciate." Renaldo's throwing that in because that's his daytime job. Joking, that is, not accounting. There's no accounting for taste and Rey has no taste for accounting. Which is why he's our band treasurer, which explains the copious amounts of red ink on the bank statements alluded to earlier. What goes around comes around, as they say at the Acme Boomerang factory.
