Jacob
the psychward
Jul 21, 2008
EXT. --COUNTRY HOME-- SUNDAY AFTERNOON
Grandpa and a group of children are gathered around the radio on the front porch listening to their favorite program. All of a sudden the radio turns off. Grandpa’s rocking chair becomes still and the kids start to complain.
LITTLE BILLY
Man what’s wrong with it.
He turns it off and on but no reception. The other kids get up and surround the radio as grandpa starts to rock back and forth in the chair again. Little Billy turns and screams at him.
LITTLE BILLY (CONT'D)
Hey papa do you know how to fix this.
PAPA
Well back in my day we didn't have no fancy speaker boxes. I don’t reckon I could do much more than what you is doing right now.
LITTLE BILLY
Well what did you do for fun when you were a kid grandpa.
PAPA
Well we used to tell stories.
LITTLE BILLY
Wow! Do you have any stories grandpa?
The children run up to Grandpa’s rocking chair and form a perfect circle.
PAPA
Hell yeah bitch , I got a big ass black box of the rawest fucking stories you’ll ever hear.
LITTLE BILLY
Can I hear one.
The other kids chime in
PAPA
OK well you'll have to shut the fuck up and let your grandpap speak.
A long time ago their used to be a rap group that had the most gangster beats ever. There was just one problem.
LITTLE BILLY
What was that grandpa?
PAPA
If you would shut up a minute i’ll tell you. You see these guys were locked up in a mental hospital. A place they keep crazy people.
LITTLE BILLY
Were they crazy?
PAPA
Not as crazy as I'm going to get while I’m whooping your ass cause you can’t keep your trap shut. They were so crazy that they decided to try their luck at breaking out of this maximum security Psychiatric Ward.
INT. --SAINT SEDATED -- NIGHT
An old man with long grey hair is walking down a hall jingling keys in his hand.
INT. --SEWAGE PIPE-- NIGHT
A man is crawling down a long sewage pipe with a flashlight in his hands. He frequently stops to vomit.
INT. --PSYCH WARD-- NIGHT
The guy with the keys in his hand walks up to a cell and pears through the window. Through the slot is a black man strapped to a bed staring at the wall. The door then opens and the old man walks in and places a black and mild in the mouth of the inmate and begins to light it and unbuckle the harnesses that were keeping him strapped to the bed. The two then leave the room and head down the hall towards a cell at the end with a sign above the door the reads “Do Not Open -really fucked in the head-” The old man slides back the slot on the front of the cell door and looks through it. The cell is decorated in a late eighteenth century decor with a man in a large purple robe eating a bowl of cereal and watching a flat screen television placed above the fireplace.(later to find the old man is Cole Slaws father)
INT. --SEWAGE PIPE-- NIGHT
There is light at the end of the tunnel as a man crawls faster through the brown sludge with turds on his head.
VELVET J
Thirty more yards and i'm threw wid this shithole FOREVER!!!!
INT. --SAINT SEDATED-- NIGHT
The door to the forbidden cell opens and The inmate and the old man step inside.
Cole slaw notices through his bad ass gangster vision someone is about to step on his rug then puts his silky pimp finger out to indicate no!
COLE SLAW
Halt! Take your shoes off. This rug was my grandmothers and was maid of Indonesia silk particles pubic hairs of a monastery monk woven into it. Who the fuck are you and how did you get in here.
The inmate King Khaos puts his hand across the old mans chest keeping him from stepping on the rug.
KING KHAOS
Hold up player! Are you Cole Slaw the beat Master?
Cole Slaw sips the milk from his cereal bowl leaving a white mustache across his mouth.
COLE SLAW
Who wants to know.
Khaos sips his black and mild blowing out a drag.
KING KHAOS
I’m breaking you out tonight you are a free man on one condition. You have to make
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shotgun
Jul 21, 2008
This is something I am still playing with
EXT. -- BUCK CEMETERY -- DAYBREAK 1993
He stands a couple inches over 6 foot wearing a ten gallon hat with a hawk feather stuck on the side of it. Ten miles outside of Gun Barrel city Big Mike kneels over the grave of Daryl H. Buck and takes off his hat.
Wind blows as a hawk floats over the graveyard.
A horrible cough is let out as Big Mike pulls a handkerchief from his back pocket and dabs his glistening forehead. A man in the background steps down from a Bulldozer and walks up to and stands right in front of the grave Big Mike is Kneeling at.
GROTESQUE HILLBILLY
What you want me to bull doze.
Big Mike takes the tooth pick out of his mouth after a final clean of his rotted brown teeth then glances up at the grotesque Hillbilly while placing an electronic voice box against his neck.
A hawk flies over head letting it’s beautiful majestic voice be heard.
BIG MIKE
All of it.
Big Mike Pulls out a large gold handgun and follows the hawk then notices a chirp in the grave yard were he is standing. BHe casually walks up to the baby bird and shoots it.
The hawk lets out another high pitched yell.
He then throws the gun up and slowly follows the hawk over his head.
A shot echoes and rips the tip of the hawks right wing off. The large majestic bird dips into the woods.
The grotesque looking Hillbilly walks away from Big Mikes’ long shadow towards the bulldozer. Mike unzips his pants and a golden arch wets down the tombstone while the hillbilly watches from the approaching bulldozer.
BIG MIKE
I bet you never thought you go from watering my seed to soaking up my piss.
Big Mike zips his pants and proceeds to piss in his jeans.
BIG MIKE
Hell, I’m not going to dig you up. That would be disrespectful. No, I think this is were I’m going to lay the pipe for the septic tank. Yep this looks like a good place to put the shitter.
Big Mike Chuckles and hocks his breath back to clear his throat then puts a cigarette in his mouth. An arm covered in tatoos stretches out to light cigarette. Randy Spark, one of Big Mikes many meth addicted Mohawk wearing teenage followers, is dressed in black and has a look of wicked retardation.
INT. -- THE BUCK MANOR -- (TEN YEARS EARLIER) NIGHT
A heavy blizzard begins blowing through the trees and caking the roof of the two story Buck manor. The winter storm throws itself in the front door as if being sucked into a black hole.
MRS. BUCK
Burrr! The weatherman said it’s going to snow all night.
Mr. Buck Shakes the snow from his broad shoulders and sets a log down beside the fire place. Mrs. Buck, a stunningly beautiful woman in her mid to late forties, warms her arms and leans into her husband as he reaches into the chimney.
MR. BUCK
It’s just coming down more by the minute out there. This vent does not want to...
A loud snap of metal on metal releases the vent and a nest of baby birds falls in the ash. The baby Birds stretch their necks out at Mr. Buck as the Mother cries from the top of the chimney.
MRS. BUCK
Oh, Honey we can’t let them die we have to give them back to their mother.
MR. BUCK
The mother won’t take them back. If we touch them so I guess that they are just going to have to sit in the ash until they are large enough to fly on their own.
MR. BUCK
These birds can stay in the shed tonight. Tomorrow I will feed them and set them out to see if the mother wants to return to them. I’m going to pick up more wood.
Mrs. BUCK
It’s getting worse be careful out there honey.
MR. BUCK
Make some hot coco and I’ll be back before it’s ready.
Mr. Buck’s truck runs down a dirt road and stops beside a fallen tree with split wood beside it. He begins to pick up pieces of wood from a pile and places it in the back of his truck.
He hears a scream from across the pasture. He grabs a flashlight from the truck and points it in the blinding snow.
Mr. Bu
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