Riib
Apr 11, 2007
Much as he hated arguments or any kind of unpleasantness, Ron Shirt thought things had gone too far when, returning from a weekend at Clacton, he found that his neighbour had trimmed the hedge dividing their mutual gardens into the shape of a human leg. Beside himself with rage, Ron seized his garden shears and trimmed his white poodle Leo into a coffee table. 'That'll fix things', thought Ron. But he was wrong - the next day his neighbour had his bushy waist-length hair trimmed and permed into a model of the Queen Elizabeth and went sailing. Everywhere he went, people shouted 'Hooray'.
Sometimes you just can't win.
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Mar 30, 2007
Pop singer Hugh Nique was pleased to find himself the centre of controversy at a recent bazaar. No sooner had he finished judging the Gracious Grandmother event when he expressed a desire to enter himself in the pie-eating competition. After polishing off fifty one pork and seven steak and kidneys he was violently and some say deliberately sick over several of the spectators. The next day, a photograph of Hugh disgorging appeared on the front page of the Daily Bugle. His single record, 'Macaroni Puke' which lasts for three and a half days, enters the chart this week at number two.
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Mar 21, 2007
After his second wife passed away, Percy Rawlinson seemed to spend more and more time with his alsation, Al. His friends told him 'Percy - you'll wind up looking like a dog, ha ha'. He was later arrested near a lamppost. At his trial, some months later, he surprised everyone by mistaking a policeman for a postman and tearing his trousers off with his bare teeth. In his defence, he told the court 'It's hard to tell the difference when they take their hats off'.
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Sir Hubert Carpet
Mar 15, 2007
Shortly before setting off for Borloine, Sir Hubert Carpet was astonished to find a pair of swimming trunks on his head. 'I say, what a fearful piece of luck', he exclaimed, adjusting his glasses under the thick blue wool, and with a great laugh he threw himself out of the window and on to a passing lorry.
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