santina
My beautiful baby girls...
May 22, 2008
Our life together has just begun with Her little hands in mine and her, little smiles
when she hears my voice,Have always touched my heart so deep. Looking into her eyes,she is so innocent.The best part of my day is cuddling with her as she slips off into dream land.Through misty eyes,i look at her as she sleeps, so peacful, knowing one day she will be crawling walking and become so indepenedent, I dim the light,kissing her ever so softly & whisper,"mommy loves you baby girl"
she stole my breath, embraced my heart.i will never forget the first time
i heard her tell me she loved me, tears filled my eyes as
i picked her up and kissed her juice stained face.she has made all
my dreams come true,just by being her,she has brought all the joy into my life.
who would of thought a little gift from god would grow and
become all the strengh i would need in my weakest moment.
she has made me understand just what life is all about.
i know there will be struggles as she becomes the
beautiful women i know she will be,but i will be there to
help her up teaching her to hang on when her heart has had enough.
My little girls are so beautiful,so unique from one another yet all the
little milestones and accoplishments in between have been memories
i would of never missed.
I loved you from the very start,My Beautiful Baby girls you are always in my heart
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Remember whens...
May 22, 2008
Remember your first love, that stranger from a across the room, your eyes meet a smile from a distance, getting lost in his eyes his kisses so sweet all the wrong he made right all your dreams became reality, in his arms for once, you felt safe. Seeing all the best there was in him, believing his lies You gave your all just to make things right then just as it all began it ended his kisses grew cold all the memories that gave you comfort on those lonely nights now just a cruel reminder of the love once lost " maybe we fell out of love "his words a bitter taste of reality. Days blend into night with no real sense of being he was your life your reason for breathing now gone all seems lost then another comes into your life making you ponder the difference between love and lust, he stands by you ,bringing joy and happiness back into your life laughing seems possible he helps you up never letting you fall, his every touch craves the next for once you feel like the women you deserve even if it seems so wrong he makes it feel right when you thought love would never be possible again he brings you in to the light with all the troubles of the world on your shoulders leaves you believing "how could he ever love me " grieving makes your heart pull away the long talks the fantasy of his touch his kisses draws you closer like a river of emotions crashing into the rocks of life, like a romance novel , the cravings grow making her hunger for the knowledge that he possesses and the love that shines through his smile as he stares into her eyes the forbidden love leaves her thirsting for the next time he is in her presence. Roomer’s surface intrigued by the truth she pursues for answers craving all the love she is entitled too. the music was loud that night on the curb of a busy street as the sun sets on the hot summer night .drinking not only to quench the hungry thirst burning off their bodies but to escape the curl reality the world turns at her will, reminiscing on past moments that make them both laugh and intrigued by the stories as they expand, looking into the night sky as the stars twinkle in her eye , she remembers how he always manages to make her laugh. Promising her self she won’t make the same mistakes again, finding it hard to trust not only herself but others around her she looks down confused, he reaches for her his hands cold yet clammy they look into each others eyes with a new uncertainty, her lips slowly quiver as he draws closer, nervously she licks her Lips with anticipation, his endearing kiss leaves her body embracing his every move. Running his fingers through her hair then just like that his best friend walks out grabbing them both and pulling them back into the party,
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Someones Reality
May 22, 2008
the cravings of the harsh world pulled her in; drugs and alcohol become her daily routine, in and out of centers the help right under her finger tips so close she could smell the purity but the cravings too strong, guns and money were all that kept her disbelief reality unable to keep the pain of loss to a minimum the cravings became too strong. he came, her life in his hands on bended knee broken promises were all she could stutter, looking In the mirror she has never felt so unattractive, many men have came and gone some left with broken hearts but most left the war wounds of there fights upon her face ,drinking became not only routine but the only way to cope with what most call life her smiles withered with pain as she looked in to my eyes and said "mommy loves you little girl" the hang-over is the least of her worries for when she awakes loneliness and a broken heart sit awaiting in her shadows the next hit is all that crosses her mind escaping her pain to stop the tears as she drinks and men slither there way into her arms a vicious cycle. the hardest is cleaning up the loose ends, being there to hear the crying lies and see the self indulged pain echoing through there veins, death taunting and whispering to them "one more is all it will take to end the pain" in defense they fall asleep only to start all over when they awake. Her eyes fill with tears as she looks at her baby girl all grown up all the horror caused by her selfishness still eats away at her heart, as the women of a thousand lives turns and flirts with the concept" one day you will be in love too then you will understand " as the door slams and the car sped away, my eyes all out of cries and my heart in thousand pieces I finally became best friends with the concept "life goes on " through all the hardship that she caused and when all the attempts at being the mother she clamed she was failed after all this I still loved her , out of the blue I get a phone call and the familiar voice on the other end brings back all the remember when’s, and yet all I do is laugh through all the pain I found comfort in her voice , Then the good byes. The broken promises and she disappears. All that’s left is the dial tone of reality. Is he just like her she asks herself will this never ending night mare ever stop drugs and alcohol alienating her every thought as he goes out the door. No phone call and the late night arrivals does he think of her while he fights to keep responsibility and reality out of his life "one more and I will go" he jokes as she sits at home all alone in the darkness evil thoughts tempting her every breath awaiting his touch he comes home belittles her with his eyes calling her the names that rekindle her childhood memories as she cries and tries to find comfort in am empty bed he makes food and passes out as she lays in bed questioning god praying to help her and free her form the hell she calls life he wakes up and whispers "sorry" the emptiness in his voice seem meaningless yet she longs for it to be the truth he wraps his arms around her only to prolong the enviable and the emptiness that fills her heart and she imagines a sunny place where the happiness she wishes she could share with him lies, never taking the time to really get to know who she really is longing to feel at home in his arms to feel loved in his eyes she accepts his disgraceful apology only to have him do it again. When is enough… as she sits to explain her pain he smiles and tells her not worry watching him drink his pain away never getting drunk enough. ........
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Best friends make the world go round
May 22, 2008
like most people in life i have moved around alot, but in my travels i have never lost my roots my friends have always been in my heart, when i thought i had no one in one of the most chanenging yet rewarding experence's bobbie you and your mom (like always) made me smile i wouldn't of had a graduation experence with out you guys,i dont have a mom but i had you guys and i wouldn't change that for the world. you 2 were there for my daughter and i and your visit made me really hope that my daughter and i have the relationship you and your mother have you guys are one in a million and i love you both!! when i was almost ready to have my daughter karen you and the gang came to wish me well, you have always been there to make the best of things regardless on the situation (mac and cheese just add bacon bits relationships love and leave lol )and have always looked out for my best even when you are aganst the situation, your honesty and compassion will always hug my heart,love ya gurl. where would any of us be without the one person who has known us since we were 10, i don't even know where to start on this to of grown up with such an amazing person watching her grow to become the most confident realiable and opinionated (lol) woman i know. from learning to shave wearing makeup behind daddys back to kissing boys to one of us being married and the other experencing motherhood who would of thought 2 girls with no real worries would grow in 2 different directions resposibilities and no real commitment to settled and married still growing strong.without you my memories of childhood would of never been the same your forever in my heart spit sisters for life (tee hee)we can"t forget about the "milkman" so wise with insite to everything his kind words set you on a new path to walk yet his negative thoughts make you want to be better person our"coffee times" and knowledgeable conversations will forever be on my mind and your smile in my heart! i have one real partner in crime i wouldnt of thought of the studing techneques you did and iam telling ya our practicum wouldn't of been the same without ya or the friday afternoon drinks with the instructor (tee hee) from studing to skits to bowel care without you the laughs would of just echoed with you there the foundest memories 2 could have had in school you rock, i think everyone has 1 or 2 friends that you are always so close too but only talk every 5 years (tee hee) the one who you know is looking up at that same star and wishing you the best the one who by just one song makes you laugh and remember the crazy times(resivour dogs for life baby lol) and just by one phone call makes the 5years seem like yesturday just a reminder the crazy times never go away even after 5 years or more our memories grow strong unforgetable just like our friendship in life you always meet that one special person that makes your heart smile and you can truly be your self around but who said it had to be just one from canoe to salmon arm from invermere to canmore from strathmore to calgary and in between i love you all and without you i dont think i would be where iam today so thanx for making my heart smile and my memories so special and remember regardless where iam or where you are we always have MSN so stay in touch even if it is in 5 years lol xoxoxoxx
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