DJ Timmy Kneegar
Welcome to the universe of DJ Timmy Kneegar!
At the ripe age of 12 DJ Timmy Kneegar (known as DJ Diet Sprite back then) was already laying the foundation for the future in glam rock sampling and stretch pants manipulation. The young visionary fell into obscurity by 1999 and was all but forgotten until recently. It is reported that DJ Timmy was found lying outside the Wall Hotel in a pool of his own fluids, which consisted of but was not limited to fecal matter, vomit, stomach bile and grundel wax.
Upon word of this travesty, South Wilmerding's own DJ Cevin Kostner rushed Timmy to the South East Area YMCA and fronted him 4 bottles of Axe shower gel. After 3 hours of showering, and four escapes from attempted fondeling, DJ Timmy emerged victorious, ready to conquer the production game once again.
DJ Timmy no longer rocks the Tony Meola pony tail that once made him famous throughout Scandanavia, but that does not mean he has forgotten his roots. This dudes pulsating jams are sure to yank your baby yams right outta your sack and stuff them down your throat like you were sorostitute from ASA on your fifth cup of jungle juice. Be sure to check out his upcoming LP "Da Mushroom Stampa" as well as his European tour with world renowned meat curtain exhibitionist Candice Bergen. Do not sleep on this girls fetus cannon, cuz this vertical bacon sandwich is guaranteed to knock ya socks off!
Tell me about your history? How did you get where you are now?
What was once a delicacy enjoyed only by Vietnamese whores can now be indulged in by the entire world. From Bangkok to Intercourse, PA ya boy DJ Timmy Kneegar is bringin you da real like Hard Copy and Entertainment Tonight (John Tesh SON). If you ask 100 real muthafuckaz who's got the joints thats bringing the heat hotter and better than the moose knuckles in McKees Rocks speakeasies, atleast half dem mafukkaz is gonna say DJ Timmy Kneegar. Rumored to be a test tube baby, DJ TeeKnee has been spinnin wax since '94. He has worked with many local legends including The Mantit Trio, Jeffrey Woolheater and the Jarold Winkelblech NAMBLA all stars.
The full and uncensored version of "The History of DJ Timmy Kneegar" can be found in most book stores and coffee shops across the world.
Have you performed live in front of an audience? Any special memories?
Does your mom get her back blown out by Bryant Gumbel? Of course I play live you pathetic cum dumpster. Last live performance was with the WhiteSnake cover band "black python". their shows mainly consist of a white snake cassette playing over the loudspeakers while Edmund Nelson smacks his dick off some skanks that are in wheelchairs. Children under 10 get free entry to all Black Python events when accompanied by an adult.
Your musical influences
I hold mad respect to the pioneers that came before me like Lilly Tomlin, Edie Brickel and the New Bohemians, Tom Clark Chevrolet, Nick Hexum, Nick Hartman, Phil Hartman and Phil McGroin. I ain't really into smashing my guitars like Nirvana, however I have touched on choking myself with guitar strings while jerking off to Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. One of these days I'm gonna get wrist deep in Olivia Benson. Holla atcha boy
What equipment do you use?
Sony DSC-P71/P51/P31, needle nose pliers, and of course the glock firmly secured on my hiyup!
Anything else?
I wanna give a shout out to my main soldiers, without them I might not be alive. Fairhaven STAND UP!! jea jea F-Haven Clique Fo Life. Don't test me cause I AM A FUCKING BEAST!! - DJ Timmy Kneegar
